So this morning was my first of two IUIs this cycle. I was really concerned about B's sperm count since he has been so sick this week but he amazed me again with his super sperm - 100 million and 80% motility. Last time he was 110 million at the first IUI so he did great! I was really expecting 40 million or something much lower... phew! One more tomorrow and then we can start the 2ww. The procedure today was fine but a little more uncomfortable than I remember last time being. I didnt have much in my bladder which was probably the problem, I will drink something tomorrow morning.
I did ask Dr. F how many more cycles of clomid we would do if this doesnt work. He said maybe 1 at most so I guess by April we could be moving on to injectibles or maybe sooner. It is just nice to know that we arent going to continue doing clomid forever if it isnt working. Beta day is March 17 - St. Patrick's Day! - if I make it that far. I will probably start testing way before then. I might just POAS every day this cycle to reduce some of the anxiety around testing. I will test out the trigger and then wait for that BFP!
Oh! There was no trigger excitement last night. My aunt did it instead of B this time. You can tell that she is a pediatric nurse because she was so gentle and I really didnt feel it at all. I was shocked. When B did it I was screaming because it hurt. This time it was in and out, I thought there was no way that she could have injected everything that fast but she did! Way to go Aunt Barb! She said that since she administered the trigger, she is responsible if we get pregnant this month. I'll take whatever I can get, if she wants to take credit that is fine with me!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
UPDATE: IUI#2 CD15
The nurse called with my blood work results. E2 is 535 (!), progesterone is 1 and LH is 37.3. I will trigger tonight at 6 and then I have IUIs tomorrow at 8 and Saturday at 9:30. Here we go again!
If you recall, the trigger process last time was... interesting. This time my aunt is going to administer the shot - she is a nurse so she has a lot of practice. Then I cant blame B if it hurts or if I happen to get stuck twice again!!! So I have to hurry to the pharmacy to pick it up and then hurry over to get it before 6 (she will be leaving around 6 for class so it is doubly important to get there on time!).
Our kitchen appointment has been moved back to 3. That's ok because I want more time to research environmentally friendly options.
If you recall, the trigger process last time was... interesting. This time my aunt is going to administer the shot - she is a nurse so she has a lot of practice. Then I cant blame B if it hurts or if I happen to get stuck twice again!!! So I have to hurry to the pharmacy to pick it up and then hurry over to get it before 6 (she will be leaving around 6 for class so it is doubly important to get there on time!).
Our kitchen appointment has been moved back to 3. That's ok because I want more time to research environmentally friendly options.
IUI#2 CD15
I had another monitoring appointment today. The left side was still lagging with 4 follies that were between 8 and 14. You would think with all of those follicles at least one would have been mature. The right side was the superstar this time with 2 follicles - one at 22 and one at 16. That 16 is right on the cusp, a little more time and it could mature but too much time and we will miss the bigger one. Most likely, I will trigger tonight and have IUIs tomorrow and Saturday. I already set up my appointment for tomorrow just so I could get a decent time. I will update when they call me this afternoon with my blood work results. Oh and my lining was a plump 12! So things seem to be going well this cycle. I am concerned about Bs sample over the next 2 days. He has been sick all week and even stayed home from work. Is that going to impair the quality of the sample? Last time we were around 100 million which I know is a great number so even if he cut it in half, 50 million would still be great, right? Stay positive Lisa!
This morning I was telling my mom that there might be 2 and I was really hoping for 2 to be mature to increase our chances. She said, yeah but it also increases your chances for twins. I said, I'd rather have 2 than none. She agreed. I was freaking out on the way over to the appointment that there would be 5 and I would end up with quintuplets. I was thinking how I couldnt do selective reduction so I would have to be on bed rest for pretty much the entire pregnancy and how horrible it would be. Soon this daydream was spinning out of control - I was thinking about the risks and how hard it would be. I never actually imagined what would happen when they were home because in my day dream, they would all be in the nicu if they made it at all. Luckily, there wont be 5. There might be 2 but that's it. I can handle 2. I am hoping for anything.
This morning I was telling my mom that there might be 2 and I was really hoping for 2 to be mature to increase our chances. She said, yeah but it also increases your chances for twins. I said, I'd rather have 2 than none. She agreed. I was freaking out on the way over to the appointment that there would be 5 and I would end up with quintuplets. I was thinking how I couldnt do selective reduction so I would have to be on bed rest for pretty much the entire pregnancy and how horrible it would be. Soon this daydream was spinning out of control - I was thinking about the risks and how hard it would be. I never actually imagined what would happen when they were home because in my day dream, they would all be in the nicu if they made it at all. Luckily, there wont be 5. There might be 2 but that's it. I can handle 2. I am hoping for anything.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
UPDATE: CD13
The REs office called with my blood work results: E2 - 208, LH 8.8, P4 isnt back yet but doesnt really matter. They want me to come back Thursday instead of Friday so hopefully that will move everything up a day and not interfere with work next week. We'll see...
IUI #2 - CD13
I had my first monitoring appointment of this cycle and there was good news and bad. The good news is that I have 5 follicles - I have only ever had one on each side before. The bad news is that none of them are mature and he wants me to come back Friday (to be confirmed by blood work this afternoon). I am excited that there is a possibility of having more than one mature follicle to trigger but I am disappointed that they aren't ready yet. This week would be perfect for IUIs, I am in the office all week. Next week I will be at a client that is an hour away. It is going to be hard for me to come in late and it will be much more obvious. Plus, say my appointment is at 8 and we are done by 9, I wont get out to my client until 10. We work in small groups so that means that my staff would be there alone which is not ok. I can't make any plans until I know when the IUIs are going to be so I am going to try not to stress about it and hope that they are Saturday and Sunday, which also poses a problem. Saturday morning we have an appointment at the kitchen design center at 9am (we are getting a new kitchen!!!). We already rescheduled once, I want to get in there so we can start on the kitchen. I'll have to see if the REs office can do the IUI around noon instead of first thing in the morning. Again, something I can't worry about too much until I know what is going to happen. I hate not being able to plan things. It makes me seem inconsiderate when I cancel things at the last minute but it can't be helped.
I cant help but wonder if starting this cycle a day earlier than I should have is what pushed everything back. Now before you start screaming YES! let me explain. I dont remember if I posted about it already but I thought AF started last Wednesday night so I said Thursday was CD1 and set everything up. Thursday, there was no AF to be found but Friday she came back. So technically, Friday was probably CD1 but I didnt want to reschedule my appointments so I just left everything how it was setup and continued the cycle like Thurs was CD1. It seemed to work out since they decided to move my monitoring appointment to CD13 instead of 12 anyway. I took my clomid on CD4-8 as directed but it was actually 3-7. Plenty of people do that so I wasnt too concerned that I was going to mess anything up, plus I took it at night instead of in the morning so really it was only a half a day earlier than recommended. Are you following? I know this is a mess. So even though I am saying I am on CD13 today but really it is CD12, I would expect to have the same response that I would have on a normal CD12. Maybe I am over-reacting. Maybe this is my normal response and I just assumed that it would be like last cycle. Oh well, nothing I can do about it but wait until Friday to see what has changed. Grow follies, grow!
PS - B just called while I was writing this. The company he works for is based in Denmark and they want him to come over for a meeting that happens to be on Thanksgiving. He said he would only go if I could go. I would go in a heartbeat but if, by some miracle, I get pregnant this cycle, I would be due right around then so I wouldnt be able to go. If I got pregnant in the next few cycles I still wouldnt be able to go because I would be too far along to travel. I told him to go without me if that is the case but I guess he doesnt want to be over there for the holiday without me. He is going to talk to his boss about it to make sure that he could cancel if I ended up pregnant, but if he gets the ok then we are going to plan to go to Denmark in November! Yay!
I cant help but wonder if starting this cycle a day earlier than I should have is what pushed everything back. Now before you start screaming YES! let me explain. I dont remember if I posted about it already but I thought AF started last Wednesday night so I said Thursday was CD1 and set everything up. Thursday, there was no AF to be found but Friday she came back. So technically, Friday was probably CD1 but I didnt want to reschedule my appointments so I just left everything how it was setup and continued the cycle like Thurs was CD1. It seemed to work out since they decided to move my monitoring appointment to CD13 instead of 12 anyway. I took my clomid on CD4-8 as directed but it was actually 3-7. Plenty of people do that so I wasnt too concerned that I was going to mess anything up, plus I took it at night instead of in the morning so really it was only a half a day earlier than recommended. Are you following? I know this is a mess. So even though I am saying I am on CD13 today but really it is CD12, I would expect to have the same response that I would have on a normal CD12. Maybe I am over-reacting. Maybe this is my normal response and I just assumed that it would be like last cycle. Oh well, nothing I can do about it but wait until Friday to see what has changed. Grow follies, grow!
PS - B just called while I was writing this. The company he works for is based in Denmark and they want him to come over for a meeting that happens to be on Thanksgiving. He said he would only go if I could go. I would go in a heartbeat but if, by some miracle, I get pregnant this cycle, I would be due right around then so I wouldnt be able to go. If I got pregnant in the next few cycles I still wouldnt be able to go because I would be too far along to travel. I told him to go without me if that is the case but I guess he doesnt want to be over there for the holiday without me. He is going to talk to his boss about it to make sure that he could cancel if I ended up pregnant, but if he gets the ok then we are going to plan to go to Denmark in November! Yay!
Friday, February 22, 2008
CD9
Where have I been? Geez! Work has been so busy, I didnt have enough time during the day to write and was too tired to get back on the computer at night. Plus, there isnt really much to talk about. Last weekend, Brian and I discussed adopting from Kazakhstan. We decided to move forward and if this cycle works we would just be out a few hundred dollars but if it didnt we would be on our way to adoption. By Monday, Brian had found a statement on the website of the Secretary of State that discussed the risks of travelling to Kazakhstan. Apparently, there are terrorist cells in that region and they are targeting Americans and willing to kill civilians in public places. This made Brian too nervous and honestly, I was a little scared too. We decided that now is not a good time to travel to a potentially hostile location so we put Kaz on hold. I started 100mg of Clomid on Sunday night. I took it at night this time because technically CD1 wasn't really CD1. I havent really had any side effects except a hot flash last night and the night before. I have been a tinge on the moody side but that could have been from stress at work. Next week should be a lot better at work which will be perfect since that is when I expect to have the IUIs.
How could I forget? Our other big news is that we are going to renovate the kitchen. We have been talking about it, going back and forth, and when we decided not to go through with the adoption I said I needed something to distract me and a new kitchen should do the trick! We are supposed to meet with the contractor tomorrow to find out what to expect and what we need to do. It is going to be so much fun! I'm sure it will be stressful as well but it will be something else for me to focus on which I really need. I am off to look at cabinets and counter tops!! Let me know if you have any suggestions - we have a tiny kitchen so I need to make the most of my space. Any space-saver or tight area tips?
How could I forget? Our other big news is that we are going to renovate the kitchen. We have been talking about it, going back and forth, and when we decided not to go through with the adoption I said I needed something to distract me and a new kitchen should do the trick! We are supposed to meet with the contractor tomorrow to find out what to expect and what we need to do. It is going to be so much fun! I'm sure it will be stressful as well but it will be something else for me to focus on which I really need. I am off to look at cabinets and counter tops!! Let me know if you have any suggestions - we have a tiny kitchen so I need to make the most of my space. Any space-saver or tight area tips?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
CD1... again...
So here we are again. My period started late last night so I will count today as CD1. I am ready to try one more cycle. If everything goes as it has in the past, the timing is really good for my work schedule. I was at the mall with my mom last night and the woman at the checkout counter was asking if I was married and if I had kids and then went into this whole thing about well if it happens, it happens but it's ok to wait blah blah blah. I was dying. It just seems like people bring stuff like that up when you are the most vulnerable - like when you know your cycle failed and you are about to get your period.
I also found out last night that one of my friends is moving across the country in July. She was in my wedding but we have kind of lost touch over the last year. I have been holed up, depressed about the miscarriage and not being able to get pregnant again and it turns out everyone else has moved on and is doing new and exciting things in their lives. So it turns out, time hasnt been standing still. Who knew?
I also found out last night that one of my friends is moving across the country in July. She was in my wedding but we have kind of lost touch over the last year. I have been holed up, depressed about the miscarriage and not being able to get pregnant again and it turns out everyone else has moved on and is doing new and exciting things in their lives. So it turns out, time hasnt been standing still. Who knew?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
13dpiui
... and it's over. My temp dropped this morning, I have been having lots of AF cramping, she is right around the corner. I knew a couple days ago, my temp was not as high as it should have been and I just wasnt feeling it but that doesnt mean I wasnt still hoping that I would be surprised. I am frustrated, exhausted, sad and defeated. I dont know what I want to do. I am tired of all of the pills and appointments. Each cycle the highs are higher and the lows are lower. I seriously dont know how much more I can take.
Tomorrow is one year since we conceived last time, I never thought we would still be trying at this point. I dont know what I want to do from here. I know it was only the first IUI cycle but I dont know how many more I can do. I feel like if I take a year to give my thyroid some more time to recover and in the mean time start eating better, exercising and taking care of myself maybe I can get my body to ovulate on its own like it used to. We are seriously considering international adoption at some point, I am ready to start today but B wants to give it one or two more chances. It is frustrating because he isnt the one missing work for the appointments, taking all of the pills, getting the shots, etc. but this is a decision that we both need to be 100% on board with and I dont want to pressure him into it. He wants me off all of the medications as well but he is worried about the cost of international adoption. I have been trying to tell him that if there is ever a time that we are going to be able to afford it, that time is now. Once we have kids I am going to stop working so we wont have this extra income anymore. He agreed that we could start now but I know that he wasnt 100% into it, he was just agreeing because it is what I wanted. So I will wait. When AF arrives I will call Dr. F's office and set everything up for next cycle. I am going to ask what, if anything, they will change and also if there are any other tests that they can do to make sure we arent wasting time here. I dont really know what else to do. Somehow I have to tell everyone that it didnt work. This is why I dont like telling people about this, I need their support but I hate disappointing them. My mom really thought that this was going to work and she is going to be so disappointed, I know she wont be disappointed in me because there is nothing I could have done but she thought this was like a guarantee. I told her on Friday that there is only a 30% chance of this working and she said "Well why did Dr. F say see you when you're pregnant then?" I dont know... I dont know... I wish I would stop believing him when he says that.
Tomorrow is one year since we conceived last time, I never thought we would still be trying at this point. I dont know what I want to do from here. I know it was only the first IUI cycle but I dont know how many more I can do. I feel like if I take a year to give my thyroid some more time to recover and in the mean time start eating better, exercising and taking care of myself maybe I can get my body to ovulate on its own like it used to. We are seriously considering international adoption at some point, I am ready to start today but B wants to give it one or two more chances. It is frustrating because he isnt the one missing work for the appointments, taking all of the pills, getting the shots, etc. but this is a decision that we both need to be 100% on board with and I dont want to pressure him into it. He wants me off all of the medications as well but he is worried about the cost of international adoption. I have been trying to tell him that if there is ever a time that we are going to be able to afford it, that time is now. Once we have kids I am going to stop working so we wont have this extra income anymore. He agreed that we could start now but I know that he wasnt 100% into it, he was just agreeing because it is what I wanted. So I will wait. When AF arrives I will call Dr. F's office and set everything up for next cycle. I am going to ask what, if anything, they will change and also if there are any other tests that they can do to make sure we arent wasting time here. I dont really know what else to do. Somehow I have to tell everyone that it didnt work. This is why I dont like telling people about this, I need their support but I hate disappointing them. My mom really thought that this was going to work and she is going to be so disappointed, I know she wont be disappointed in me because there is nothing I could have done but she thought this was like a guarantee. I told her on Friday that there is only a 30% chance of this working and she said "Well why did Dr. F say see you when you're pregnant then?" I dont know... I dont know... I wish I would stop believing him when he says that.
Monday, February 11, 2008
11dpiui
Defeated is my word of the day. There is no other way to explain how I feel today. Yesterday it was forgotten but today it is defeated. I dont know how much longer I can do this without knowing that one day it will work. If ever there was a planner, it is me and this past year and a half have been torture. I cant plan anything. Or I do plan and am always disappointed because nothing turned out like it was supposed to. I am sick of pushing things off because "this might be the cycle." I feel like the last year and a half has just passed me by and I have nothing to show for it, nothing at all. I am becoming more detached from the people around me. It is so hard to pretend to be happy. So today I am not pretending. I am in a horrible mood and everyone around me knows it and I dont give a crap. I dont want to be at work, I dont want to be around people, I dont want to talk to anyone. I want to be sleeping on my sofa. This is really some kind of torture. I read somewhere this weekend - maybe someone else's blog or maybe it heard it on tv - that the worst kind of torture is waiting and not knowing. At least when you know, you can start to deal with it. Not knowing leaves you in this limbo where you are scared to hope but even more scared that hope wont be enough.
I wish that I could wear a sign that says "Leave me alone, I am going through IF." Then people would understand and not even bother trying to cheer me up because cheering wont help. It just makes me mad. It invalidates my feelings. "Don't feel bad, it will happen." Oh really? It will, can you let me know when please? Since you have this direct line to God can you find out for me? Also, let him know that I am a little more than pissed at this completely unfair situation. My husband has a good job and can support us, I will be staying home, we live in a nice house where baby would eat organic food and be cloth diapered, rather than being raised in a crack house getting high from moms breast milk and maybe getting a diaper change once a day, maybe.
I went to see Avenue Q last night. It was hysterical but I think I used up my laugh quota for the week because today is worse than any other day had been up to this point. Ooo sorry, you used too many laughs on Sunday, Monday -Thursday there will be no laughing. Maybe Friday you might earn a few back but that is questionable.
Is it the weekend yet?
I wish that I could wear a sign that says "Leave me alone, I am going through IF." Then people would understand and not even bother trying to cheer me up because cheering wont help. It just makes me mad. It invalidates my feelings. "Don't feel bad, it will happen." Oh really? It will, can you let me know when please? Since you have this direct line to God can you find out for me? Also, let him know that I am a little more than pissed at this completely unfair situation. My husband has a good job and can support us, I will be staying home, we live in a nice house where baby would eat organic food and be cloth diapered, rather than being raised in a crack house getting high from moms breast milk and maybe getting a diaper change once a day, maybe.
I went to see Avenue Q last night. It was hysterical but I think I used up my laugh quota for the week because today is worse than any other day had been up to this point. Ooo sorry, you used too many laughs on Sunday, Monday -Thursday there will be no laughing. Maybe Friday you might earn a few back but that is questionable.
Is it the weekend yet?
Sunday, February 10, 2008
10dpiui
sigh... I am just not feeling it. I am trying to hold onto little signs but deep down, I just dont think this is it. I decided to start temping a few days ago (I havent at all this cycle) just so I could see if it is going up or down since I am nearing the end of the cycle. The good news is that it is going up, +1 for pg. I feel like I dont have any symtoms except sore boobs which is a result of the prometrium, +1 for AF. I do have a really weird symtom, my nose looks different, I know that is odd but on my moms side, you can always tell someone is pregnant because their nose changes, +1 for pg. I took an hpt this morning, start white, +5 for AF. I am only 10dpiui so I will subtract most of those points (-4 for AF). So we end up with PG - 2, AF - 2. Not very convincing.
As each month goes by, I am getting closer and closer to starting the adoption process. I dont know how far into this I want to go. I know that we will have biological kids someday, we got pregnant before and our only real issue is that I dont ovulate. But when is that day going to come? Am I going to try to force my body to do something that it doesnt want to do for years when I could have started and possibly completed the adoption process by that point. It is just so hard to go forward with something that is going to cost $20-30k when I can continue with IF treatment for just a co-pay per appointment.
On Friday, I was at my mom's house. She had some friends over to play bunko, although we never got around to it. They all get together monthly and sometimes I go as well, they are close family friends and were all at my wedding. Anyway, towards the end of the night, it was just me, my mom, 2 of my aunts and 2 friends. We started talking about IVF and frozen embryos and what to do with them if you are finished having kids - donate, stem cell research or discard. It was really nice to hear their opinions because they seem to be really aware of the struggles associated with the decision and, after explaining a few things, how easy it could be to end up with extra embryos. I really hope that isnt a decision we are faced with, I hope we dont get to that point. I really hope that this is it and I dont need to worry about paying for adoption or frozen embryos. I hope but I dont have a good feeling about it.
As each month goes by, I am getting closer and closer to starting the adoption process. I dont know how far into this I want to go. I know that we will have biological kids someday, we got pregnant before and our only real issue is that I dont ovulate. But when is that day going to come? Am I going to try to force my body to do something that it doesnt want to do for years when I could have started and possibly completed the adoption process by that point. It is just so hard to go forward with something that is going to cost $20-30k when I can continue with IF treatment for just a co-pay per appointment.
On Friday, I was at my mom's house. She had some friends over to play bunko, although we never got around to it. They all get together monthly and sometimes I go as well, they are close family friends and were all at my wedding. Anyway, towards the end of the night, it was just me, my mom, 2 of my aunts and 2 friends. We started talking about IVF and frozen embryos and what to do with them if you are finished having kids - donate, stem cell research or discard. It was really nice to hear their opinions because they seem to be really aware of the struggles associated with the decision and, after explaining a few things, how easy it could be to end up with extra embryos. I really hope that isnt a decision we are faced with, I hope we dont get to that point. I really hope that this is it and I dont need to worry about paying for adoption or frozen embryos. I hope but I dont have a good feeling about it.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
6dpiui
This is the longest 2ww ever and I am getting really down today. I have been dvr-ing adoption stories and I feel like why am I spending all this time and energy on fertility treatments instead of adoption? The only answer I can come up with is that adoption is so expensive and we have insurance coverage for the fertility treatments. I am so drawn to adoption and I know we will do it some day but I wonder if we should just do it today. I am also hating my job and hating that our IF is keeping me at my job. I am starting to resent IF, who am I kidding, I have been resenting IF for a while but today is just not a good day. I dont feel like this cycle is going to work. Why would it? The others havent. I keep thinking about what my due date would be or what it would be like when the baby got here but it seems so far away. I should have a baby, I should be a mommy. This should have already happened. I know that feeling sorry for myself isnt going to help anything but too bad, I'm doing it anyway, so ha!
By the way, if I was having any symptoms right now they would be fatigue (I fell asleep at 8:15 tomorrow and I was exhausted all day, ready for bed now and it is 8:30), maybe some moodiness :), sore boobs - I am going to take my temp tomorrow morning to see how it looks just as something else to analyze. All of these things could be caused by my progesterone but it is some kind of fun torture to play this game.
In other news, B and I have been talking about buying a new house closer to his office in the next year or two. We will have to save a lot of money since we havent been in this house long enough to build up much equity. I dont know if we will even be able to save that much in year or two, actually I'm pretty sure that we cant, but we are going to try. Once we do have a baby and I'm not working it is going to be a lot harder to save so we are working on it as much as we can now. So the point of this story is that we are saving for this new house and it is going to take a long time to do it but as of this morning, I want to move immediately. My parents live 4 blocks away in the next township over. Last night, my dad heard about 20 gunshots at 2 in the morning. This wasnt the first time there have been gun shots. We live close to the city so things that start there sometimes end up here. One time a few years ago there was a car chase that came from the city into the next neighborhood over which is all huge million dollar houses with lots of land and a really nice, secluded, wooded area, there was a shoot out with the cops. Then last year a cop was chasing someone else all the way down the main road (from the city again) and ended up pulling off into the train station which is down the street from us (I walked home from there yesterday) and the cop shot and killed the guy. In November, I stopped at a local bakery to pick up a cupcake for my godsons first birthday. As we were walking from the car into the bakery a man mugged a woman right in front of us, in the middle of the day, with tons of people around. What happened to my neighborhood? It is too easy to get here from the city. We need to move north. So I looked online for info on the gunshots last night and there was nothing. My dad said he didnt hear sirens afterwards - by the way, if you are wondering why we didnt hear it, about a year ago there was a fire at an apartment building in my neighborhood maybe 2 blocks away, we didnt know about it until we saw it on the news the next day, I guess we are sound sleepers- so no sirens which he thought meant either that the cops were already involved like the chases before or the cops never got involved because no one called them. I just want to know what happened and why there was a shoot out within earshot of my house. Actually, knowing isn't that important to me because it doesnt matter why it happened. This is becoming too frequent, we need to move.
By the way, if I was having any symptoms right now they would be fatigue (I fell asleep at 8:15 tomorrow and I was exhausted all day, ready for bed now and it is 8:30), maybe some moodiness :), sore boobs - I am going to take my temp tomorrow morning to see how it looks just as something else to analyze. All of these things could be caused by my progesterone but it is some kind of fun torture to play this game.
In other news, B and I have been talking about buying a new house closer to his office in the next year or two. We will have to save a lot of money since we havent been in this house long enough to build up much equity. I dont know if we will even be able to save that much in year or two, actually I'm pretty sure that we cant, but we are going to try. Once we do have a baby and I'm not working it is going to be a lot harder to save so we are working on it as much as we can now. So the point of this story is that we are saving for this new house and it is going to take a long time to do it but as of this morning, I want to move immediately. My parents live 4 blocks away in the next township over. Last night, my dad heard about 20 gunshots at 2 in the morning. This wasnt the first time there have been gun shots. We live close to the city so things that start there sometimes end up here. One time a few years ago there was a car chase that came from the city into the next neighborhood over which is all huge million dollar houses with lots of land and a really nice, secluded, wooded area, there was a shoot out with the cops. Then last year a cop was chasing someone else all the way down the main road (from the city again) and ended up pulling off into the train station which is down the street from us (I walked home from there yesterday) and the cop shot and killed the guy. In November, I stopped at a local bakery to pick up a cupcake for my godsons first birthday. As we were walking from the car into the bakery a man mugged a woman right in front of us, in the middle of the day, with tons of people around. What happened to my neighborhood? It is too easy to get here from the city. We need to move north. So I looked online for info on the gunshots last night and there was nothing. My dad said he didnt hear sirens afterwards - by the way, if you are wondering why we didnt hear it, about a year ago there was a fire at an apartment building in my neighborhood maybe 2 blocks away, we didnt know about it until we saw it on the news the next day, I guess we are sound sleepers- so no sirens which he thought meant either that the cops were already involved like the chases before or the cops never got involved because no one called them. I just want to know what happened and why there was a shoot out within earshot of my house. Actually, knowing isn't that important to me because it doesnt matter why it happened. This is becoming too frequent, we need to move.
Friday, February 1, 2008
2 dpiui
Yup, that's right, IUI. A lot has happened since CD2. I went in on CD12 for a normal monitoring appointment. One decent sized follie and E2 over 100. Not quite ready yet so I went back on Tuesday (CD14). A nice follie at 21, lining at 9.1, E2 at 434 and LH at 20. Side note: This was my first appt with Dr. C as Dr. F was at the other office that day. He was accompanied by a med student and the chief resident of something or other. He asked if the resident could try the ultrasound on me, I figured, sure, I am all for helping with the teaching process. It was just wierd because I had such an audience, Dr. C, med student, resident and nurse. Anyway, Dr. C asked if we were doing IUI or TI, I said just TI and didnt think much of it because he wasnt my regular doctor and wasnt familiar with my history. So the nurse calls with the blood work results and asks the same thing, TI or IUI. At that point I started to wonder, if everyone is asking, should we be doing it? I said no because we hadnt discussed it and she gave instructions to trigger that night with TI the following 2 nights and start p4 supps on Sunday. I called B to get his opinion and we decided that we should go for it. Why not, right? It is covered by insurance and it was already pre-approved for this cycle (my RE wants it pre-approved just in case there is hosile CM). It wasnt a very long conversation, we both just knew that if there was something that would increase our chances, we were going to try it. I did ask him a few times if he was sure that he wouldnt be uncomfortable with it and if he was ok with not making a baby the "old-fashioned way." He assured me that he was and he is in this, no matter what it takes. So I called the nurse back and scheduled b2b (back to back) IUIs for Wednesday and Thursday morning. Here is the process if you are not familiar with it. B produces a sample in a sterile cup at home. We drive to the office to drop off the sample where they do some spinning and washing thing. Basically, they are seperating the sperm from the seminal fluid. They put this into a syringe connected to a catheter (this process takes about 30 minutes). When it is ready we go back and the RE inserts a speculum (cold metal thing used when getting a pap) and then guides the catheter into my uterus. At this point I am flinching in pain because there is definitely cramping as this little tube is going into places that it does not belong. He shoots all of the sperm into my uterus and then slowly removes the catheter and it is over. The whole thing takes maybe 2 minutes. I was instructed to lay on the table for 10 minutes and then go about my normal day. We repeated that process on Thursday and now we just wait.
B wants me to stay home all weekend on the sofa to help implantation. I am not arguing, I will take it where I can get it. I will not be on the sofa the entire weekend since tomorrow I am going to see 27 dresses with a friend, then to dinner with my fam since my brother is home from school for the weekend, then B and I are going to the movies again to see the Kite Runner. Sunday is the superbowl so we will be out for that as well. But I was told no shopping or anything strenuous - I hope that includes laundry and cleaning!!
Speaking of the superbowl, B is at Wing Bowl today. If you arent familiar with this event it is basically a wing eating contest at a freakishly early hour sponsored by a radio station. There is lots of drinking involved as well. The contestants have to qualify by doing outrageous things like chugging a gallon of milk or eating absurd amounts of hot dogs. These are professional eaters. I am very happy to report that my husband is not a contestant, nor did he ever want to be, he is just a spectator. Thousands of people go to this craziness, you need tickets, it is at a professional sports venue. It is a guy thing. My mom compared it to shopping on black friday. We get up ridiculously early to go shopping with thousands of other people, we check the ads the night before, we scope out the best deals, it is a girl thing. So he is doing his guy thing today and I am at work. I heard from him about an hour ago and he was slurring... at 11:30 in the morning. He claims the beers are going down easy, I'm sure they are. It's a guy thing. I told him that if this cycle doesnt work he better not have drunk sperm next cycle.
So back to the baby business, I was told when all was finished to come back in 2 weeks when I'm pregnant. I have a very optimistic RE. 2 weeks would put us at valentines day, coincidentally (or maybe not) that is the same day that we conceived last year - yes it was a valentines baby - I hope that is a good sign. I am really going to try to wait the full 2 weeks, we'll see. So begins the 2ww.........................
PS My spellcheck isnt working so I apologize for any typos!
B wants me to stay home all weekend on the sofa to help implantation. I am not arguing, I will take it where I can get it. I will not be on the sofa the entire weekend since tomorrow I am going to see 27 dresses with a friend, then to dinner with my fam since my brother is home from school for the weekend, then B and I are going to the movies again to see the Kite Runner. Sunday is the superbowl so we will be out for that as well. But I was told no shopping or anything strenuous - I hope that includes laundry and cleaning!!
Speaking of the superbowl, B is at Wing Bowl today. If you arent familiar with this event it is basically a wing eating contest at a freakishly early hour sponsored by a radio station. There is lots of drinking involved as well. The contestants have to qualify by doing outrageous things like chugging a gallon of milk or eating absurd amounts of hot dogs. These are professional eaters. I am very happy to report that my husband is not a contestant, nor did he ever want to be, he is just a spectator. Thousands of people go to this craziness, you need tickets, it is at a professional sports venue. It is a guy thing. My mom compared it to shopping on black friday. We get up ridiculously early to go shopping with thousands of other people, we check the ads the night before, we scope out the best deals, it is a girl thing. So he is doing his guy thing today and I am at work. I heard from him about an hour ago and he was slurring... at 11:30 in the morning. He claims the beers are going down easy, I'm sure they are. It's a guy thing. I told him that if this cycle doesnt work he better not have drunk sperm next cycle.
So back to the baby business, I was told when all was finished to come back in 2 weeks when I'm pregnant. I have a very optimistic RE. 2 weeks would put us at valentines day, coincidentally (or maybe not) that is the same day that we conceived last year - yes it was a valentines baby - I hope that is a good sign. I am really going to try to wait the full 2 weeks, we'll see. So begins the 2ww.........................
PS My spellcheck isnt working so I apologize for any typos!
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