1 week

My little baby is 1 week old today. On one hand it went so fast, on the other it seems like he has been here forever. So what has happened over the last week?

I'll start with my recovery. The first few days were really rough. I was in a lot of pain. It was hard to move and I couldnt find a comfortable position unless I was laying down. And then it seemed like one day it was better as long as I didnt try to do too much. Now it is really ok, some discomfort sometimes but a million times better. I had no idea what it looks like down there, I havent looked. I think my stitches are dissolvable but I dont know how long it takes for them to dissolve. I am just going to wait until my post-partum appointment to even worry about what is going on down there. Weight loss? When I got home from the hospital I was only down 2 lbs but as of today I am down 12. That leaves 12 more to go to get to my prepregnancy weight but I would like to lose an additional 10-20 to get back to where I was before all of this ttc stuff started.

Now for the fun stuff... the baby!! First, he is absolutely adorable. He makes the cutest faces and already has little habits and a personality. He smells absolutely delicious! I just cant get enough of him. He has been breastfeeding like a champ. He really seemed to pick it up almost instantly. I though we were going to have problems but we're lucky so far. He is doing really well at night too. Some nights are worse than others but last night he ate at 11, 3 and 7. He goes right back to sleep after eating so there is no walking around the house in the middle of the night trying to settle a cranky baby. On the hard nights he is a little fussy or maybe doesnt go down right away but we really only had one night where one of us was awake the entire night and that was because he was in pain - gas or reflux, I'm not sure.

So I'm wondering, is there some kind of honeymoon period? Is this going to suddenly get harder one day? He is just such a good baby that I figure it must be too good to be true. Also, what about the post-partum hormones? I have really been feeling great. There has been 2 nights that I cried for no reason but besides that I am feeling good.

How Hayden Arrived

On Monday, 11/10, I woke up at 4am to call the hospital to see if they had a bed available for me for my 6am induction. They did not and told me to call back at 8am, I was really discouraged but was able to get a few more hours of sleep. At 8 they told me to come in immediately. We got there around 8:30 after rushing around trying to make sure we had everything. I was fully expecting them to say come in at 10 or call back later so we were kind of taken by surprise. By 9am we were in our room and my IV was started. Dr. B came in to check me and I was 6cm. My moms best friend, Aunt Marie, is a L&D nurse and I was so lucky that she came in on her day off to be my nurse, she got there around 10. She had made lots of plans to make my experience the best it could be and we are so grateful. Since it was expected that my labor would progress quickly, we decided to get the epidural before starting pitocin or breaking my water. I was a little anxious about the epidural because I typically dont do well with anesthesia - I was right. It was uncomfortable but not painful but when he started injecting the meds my bp dropped significantly and I was feeling dizzy and sick. They only gave me a small dose to give my bp a chance to go back up and once it did I received a little more but still not a complete dose. Immediately pitocin was started and Dr. B broke my water, it was now around 11am. The anesthesiologist stopped back a few minutes later and we determined that I was only numb from my hips down and was feeling the contractions so he gave me the complete dose and we were on our way! At 12:15 Aunt Marie checked me and said she couldnt find my cervix! It was confirmed by Dr. B that I was 10cm and 100% effaced but he was still pretty high. Rather than push for hours they decided to have me labor down for a little while to see if my contractions would bring him down. Luckily I couldnt feel anything so waiting a while rather than pushing forever seemed like a great idea. After an hour I still hadnt made much progress and Dr. B had to do a c-section for another patient so we decided to wait another hour. By 2:30 he had come down a little bit so we decided to start pushing. It was just me, B, Aunt Marie and a nursing student in the room - with lots of people in the waiting room! For the first few contractions I had no urge to push and couldnt feel anything so I wasnt pushing correctly. I knew I wasnt doing it right but couldnt change it, it was really frustrating. Eventually I either got more feeling or he moved down a little more and I was able to start pushing effectively. B was a great coach! He was holding my leg back and counting and rooting for me. In between contractions he was full of sweet things to say and very encouraging. After pushing for an hour I was getting kind of tired and frustrated. I couldnt see anything so I couldnt tell if I was making progress. Everyone was telling me that I was but I thought they were lying just to get me to keep going. Aunt Marie said that she thought he would be here by 4 and I didnt believe her at all. They all saw his hair while I was pushing and B said his hair was sticking out and Aunt Marie would twirl it because it was so long! All during that time the only pain I had was in my neck and shoulders from being curled forward and tense! Funny that as I'm pushing out a baby the thing that I'm complaining about is needing a shoulder rub. Soon things started to get pretty intense so I dont quite remember details but I know that Dr. B came in, saw me push a few times and started to get dressed. I could feel the pressure of the babys head coming down which really helped me continue to push. At some point he did an episiotomy but I didnt feel or notice it. I remember thinking it was so odd because I was the only one that didnt know what was going on. Everyone kept telling me how great I was doing and all that but I couldnt actually see how far he had come down. I dont think I would have wanted a mirror but I am so used to watching all of the baby shows on tv that it just seemed odd. It seemed like all of a sudden things changed, everyone got more excited and Dr. B said he thought it would be one more contraction. Aunt Marie grabbed my hand and had me touch his head and I immediately started crying. I think it was a combination of everything we had worked for for so long was so close plus relief that pushing was going to be over. With the next contraction I could feel his head come out and Dr. B suctioned his mouth. He had the cord wrapped around his neck but it was loose so Dr. B was able to just flip it over. One more push and out he came at 4:08 after an hour and a half of pushing. The feeling was unbelievable, the physical relief and amazement was overwhelming. They put him on my belly and I remember seeing his little arms and legs flop down, I couldnt believe it, I think that is something I will never forget. Brian and I were both crying. Aunt Marie was drying him off and rubbing his back to get him to cry. At some point it seemed like it had been too long and I started to worry but then there it was! Again, at this point I started to feel a little weird so I dont have very vivid memories. Dr. B was spending a lot of time working on me but I was too busy looking at the baby who was being warmed up and weighed and cleaned off. My mom and MIL came back to get a peek at him while I was being stitched up. Finally after about a half hour, when he was finished, I got the baby back. I really wanted to try to breastfeed during that first hour. Hayden was so alert and latched right on - he has been a champ ever since. Since we were kind of VIPs, the people that were waiting were able to come back and see us while I was recovering (my parents, sister and aunt, B's parents, brother, SIL and nephew). Around 6 we were getting ready to move to my post-partum room so I had to get up and pee to prove that I could be moved. The baby had been taken to the nursery at this point. As I got up my legs gave out from under me so B and my dad had to hold me and basically carry me to the bathroom. While I was there on the toilet I started to feel sick. We finished getting me off the toilet and into a wheel chair and I got sick a few times. Honestly, I didnt mind and almost kind of expected it as I had said before I have bad reactions to anesthesia. We eventually got over to my post-partum room which was the biggest and had been reserved for me.

I do have to say that I think I had the best labor and delivery ever. I never felt true labor pains, everything happened pretty quickly and even though pushing was hard and tiring I never felt any pain. I was talking and laughing between pushes. After everything else we had been though I felt like there would be problems with the delivery too but I really dont think I could have asked for a better experience. I dont even count the 5 minutes that I didnt feel well when getting the epidural and when I was sick afterwards as negative experiences, they were really nothing in the grand scheme of things. I was pretty out of it for the rest of the night probably as a result of my low bp and losing a lot of blood but felt much better the next day.

I will continue with what has happened since in another post, I have to feed the baby now or my boobs might explode!

Hayden Thomas

He is here! He was born on Monday, 11/10, at 4:08pm and was 7lbs8oz and 19.5 inches long. I am going to write up my birth story later but here are some pictures (sorry they arent in order). I think he is pretty darn cute!

38w1d

Well tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives... today is the last day of life as we know it. I cannot believe that I am going to be a mommy tomorrow. I cant imagine what it will be like to see his little face for the first time (and probably his huge cone head since he has been stuck in my pelvis for so long!). Touching him and holding him and smelling him... it is all going to happen. Everything that we have worked for over the last 2 years will finally be here. There was almost no part of this that was easy but I already know it was so worth it. I already know that I would do it all again. I cannot wait to meet our sweet little boy.

Update since my last post: Friday I went to lunch with my mom and then to my NST. It was probably the best one I've had. The first time she came to check on me he had already passed so we were finished a half hour after my appointment time. Sometimes we wait longer than that to be seen so it was nice. That night I went to my moms Grandmom shower which was fun. She was really surprised and got some gag gifts and some really nice things including a pack n play, bumbo, books, bibs, etc. Yesterday, we spent the day cleaning and getting things done around the house. We really worked hard all day so by the time evening came we didnt feel like going to the movies for our date night but we did go to PF Changs for dinner - delicious as always. I am so happy to have a clean house for the baby to come home to and for visitors as well. My house had really suffered while I was on bedrest and I never quite got back on track until yesterday. Today we are going grocery shopping and stocking up the freezer, finishing up a few things around the house and then relaxing for the rest of the day. My mom is having dinner for us tonight and hopefully we will get to bed early since we (I) have to be up at 4 to confirm the induction. Unfortunately, the eagles are playing at 8:15 tonight so we will probably miss some of the game if we are able to sleep - I have a feeling that we wont be getting much sleep though!

Today is going to be the longest day ever!

37w6d

So after all of that complaining I had a pretty good doctors appointment... I am having a baby on Monday!! I had my regular OB appt this morning with Dr. B. When he came in I asked about how long they wait after your due date to induce, he said a week. So we start the exam and I asked if I will be stuck at 4cm until I am in active labor, he said not necessarily and then said no, definitely not, you are 5 now. So I am considered advanced dilation now since I am not yet in active labor but more than 4cm. He is concerned that I could go into labor or my water could break and I would go really fast and possibly not make it to the hospital. They have been concerned about this for a while but I guess the more and more dilated I am the more serious it becomes. So why not induce me today? This is what my mom asked. I am not 38w yet so there would still be a very, very small chance that his lungs arent fully mature. That, however, is a moot point since I had the steroids. Either way, he would prefer to wait until I am 38w and a few days just to be responsible. So I could go into labor on my own this weekend but if not, I will be having a baby on Monday!

I really did try to think about this and make sure I wasnt making a decision based on physical discomfort that could possibly hurt the baby or me. I think I am making the right decision though, there really arent any additional risks that wouldnt be present if I went into labor on my own and I am actually mitigating a potential risk.

This afternoon I am going out to lunch with my mom and then to my NST. Tonight I am going to a grandma shower for my mom at my aunts house - it is more gag gifts like granny panties. Tomorrow I hope to go to the movies and out to eat with DH for one last date. I guess the rest of the weekend will be spent preparing! How do you prepare?? What do I still need to do? Eek!

37w4d

Attn everyone: Please stop asking me if I have had the baby yet... I will let you know!!! It's not like I am going to have him and not tell anyone.

Sigh... I am getting constant text messages from people asking if I am in labor or if I've had the baby. First of all, this is annoying when all I can think about is when I am going to have the baby. Second, it costs me money! My cell phone bill last month had $42 worth of text messaging!! I know everyone is curious and just wants to check in but I dont know if I can take a few more weeks of this. Will people just get bored and give up? As much as I am trying to get him to come out I really dont think that he is going to be here much before his due date. I think this would be so much easier if I didnt spend all that time on bedrest wondering when he was going to come. That just added to the end of pregnancy anxiety. Everyone says that the last month is so hard but what if the last month was actually twice as long? Twice as much time to be anxious, twice as much wondering, twice as many questions, twice everything.

I think I am going to plan a date night for me and B. We have a certificate for movie tickets and a gift card to PF Changs that we received for our anniversary. I figure we better take advantage of it soon before we arent able to!

PS Sorry to complain. I really do appreciate people caring and wondering, some days are just harder than others.

My Pumpkin!

Since he is probably about the size of a pumpkin now I figured these were appropriate! I am the size of a whale... why is it that I look so much bigger in pictures than I do in the mirror??

37w3d

Today is election day... finally. We can all breathe a huge sigh of relief today. Relief that all of the campaigning and negative ads are done with (living in a battleground state makes watching tv miserable) but also relief that I was finally able to cast my vote and hopefully help my candidate win. I dont want to get political on here so I'm not going to get into issues but I do want to say make sure you get out and vote today. It is so important. It doesnt matter who you vote for (although I would prefer if you voted for the candidate that I support!), your voice needs to be heard. Elections have come down to a few hundred votes, every vote does matter. Dont count on everyone else to do it for you.

So since I voted this morning, the baby is now allowed to come at any time. B and I decided that we need to stop thinking that he is going to come early (even though it isnt early anymore). There is a very good possibility that he will be late, even if I am already 4cm. Nothing is happening except I am getting more and more uncomfortable. My belly just aches. Plus, it seems that my stretch marks double every day. A few more weeks and my belly will be one big stretch mark! :) I love them because they symbolize my growing baby but I think I have enough now, I dont need anymore. I dont know if this baby could be any lower, he is on my lap. I cant even sit with my legs closed because he hangs between them! My little boy is going to have a serious cone head, an adorable one but definitely a big one!

I am off to continue my nesting. Yesterday was a very productive day and I expect today to be the same! Maybe a little later I will post some pictures of Halloween and the nursery since it is almost complete.

37w

So I'm full term... who would have thought I'd make it this far. Hopefully this means that I will have a perfectly healthy baby which would be a relief after all we've been worried about. Yesterday was an interesting day though. I woke up at 4:30 with strong, painful contractions. They were coming one right after the other and I remember thinking "So this is what they're talking about when they say you'll know when it's real labor." After a half hour I decided to get in the shower to see if that changed the pattern at all. The contractions were still frequent but not quite as strong and long. By about 6:30 they had spaced out to 5 minutes apart and werent really painful so I decided to get a little sleep and just talk to the doctor about it when I went in for my appt at 8:40. She was delivering a baby so I had to wait about an hour to be seen and all during that time I continued to have contractions which were uncomfortable and I felt like I needed to breathe through. She checked me and I was 4cm, 90% and 0 station - I found out that at my last appt I was on 50% effaced so I had made a little tiny bit of progress. She decided to send me to L&D to monitor my contractions and see if it was real labor. I called B and my mom and told them I was going up but didnt think I would be staying, it just didnt feel like the real thing anymore. My mom works close by so she came right over and I told B to wait at work until I was on the monitor for a little while and saw what was going on. By the time I got upstairs and registered he had decided that he was coming home (an hour drive). Literally, as soon as I was put on the monitor my contractions stopped. In the 2 hours I was there I had 2 contractions. We watched the parade for the Phillies and at 12:30 the in-house OB checked me and there was no change so they sent me home. I was so frustrated because I knew that I shouldnt have been there and I had just wasted everyones time. I dont want them to take time off for false alarms and have less time for when the baby gets here. So I've made 2 decisions - 1: I am not going back to L&D until my water breaks and 2: If I do go before then, I am not telling anyone (not even mom or B) until it is decided that I will be admitted. Plus, my mom and B called EVERYONE to tell them that I was going when I told them both that I didnt think I would be staying and then everyone called later to see what had happened. I felt bad enough that it was just the 2 of them, when I found out that everyone knew I felt like an idiot. So there was my third visit to L&D in 6 weeks... ugh!

I think I will go walking this morning to see if that helps at all. The bottom of my belly hurts when I walk but that isnt going to go away until I have this baby so better to push through it, right? The only problem now is that I need to have this baby today or early tomorrow or not until Tuesday after I vote. I told B that if I go into labor on Tuesday I will wait until the polls open and vote before going to the hospital. He says no but this election is really important to me and I would be really upset if I didnt get the chance to vote. I wish I had thought about getting an absentee ballot sooner. Oh well. Please make sure you vote on Tuesday!!