Is that a line???

Thursday, March 1 - 6:00pm - After a few months of frustration I think I see a line. I'm not sure though, is it a line? Am I seeing things? Am I making it up? Should I tell B now or when I'm sure? No, I will wait to tell him, I would hate to disappoint him. Forget it, I am telling him, I am not going through this alone. After agonizing for what seems like forever, checking and re-checking and re-checking, I am going to tell him. I got him a cute little book titled, "My Boys Can Swim." Will he get it? I sure hope so! He walks in, I am trying to telepathically tell him to look at the book on the table. He walks around, does some stuff, damnit look at the book! FINALLY - "what's this?" "It's for you!" He opens it and now he knows... that I'm crazy. I show him the test (which was hiding under the junk mail). Does he see a line? He thinks so, there is definitely something there. I dont trust it. Dinner is in the oven and we make a quick trip over to Rite-Aid, can't go wrong with a digital. It says right on there - Pregnant or Not Pregnant. What a great invention. We relax for the rest of the evening while I prepare to take this one in the morning.

Friday, March 2 - 3:00am - I'm wide awake. How many more hours until I can take it? I can't go back to sleep, the anxiety is killing me. Around 3:30 I decide to turn on the tv (B is awake at this point as well). We watch All My Children which was tivo'd yesterday. Around 5:00 I just can't take it anymore. It is close enough to morning. So I pee and then wait... and wait... and wait for what seems like forever and then...PREGNANT! It says it right on there. No guessing about lines! After the excitment dies down (which doesnt take long considering it is 5am and we are exhausted) I get back into bed to try to get some sleep except now I can't sleep for another reason. We are going to have a baby! A BABY! I dont want to tell a soul, what if it isn't true? What if something happens? And then I ask B the most important question on my mind... "How long is the wait to get into the daycare are your work?" He promises to find out. I feel better and I can finally fall asleep for another hour until the alarm ruins it.

Today has been crazy. Is this real? Sometimes I forget for a minute (because I am actually trying to get some work done on this the craziest day of my life). Then it all comes back and I immediately search the internet for some tidbit of information that I must know immediately. What is my due date? How far along am I? What is the baby doing at this point? By the way the answers are November 7, 4 weeks and 2 days, and not much of anything besides forming all of its VITAL organs. I hope I don't mess this up! Of course my mom and dad are away this weekend. Do they ever go away? No! Why did they have to go away this weekend out of all of the possible weekends? How will I hold it in until they get home? I think they will be surprised. I want to tell the world, I want everyone to share in our excitement, but I can't. We have to wait. I have made my first appointment. It is March 15, only 2 weeks away which is sooner than I expected. I guess there is nothing else to do but wait and hope that everything is ok. And sleep, I am exhausted from being awake last night.

***Stick baby! Stick!***