I think in the new year I am going to use this as an outlet. Posting on TTTC is a huge help but sometimes I just need to get all of my thoughts out. This is going to be pretty random for a little while until I am all caught up with what has been going on but I will give it a try. So here goes...
So I feel like we are just beginning this process and we have already been working at it for 14 months. We had our first meeting with an RE a few weeks ago and we are set to start our first cycle on 50mg of clomid, the possibility of a trigger and TI. The RE didnt set up CD3 bloodwork which worries me a little but he seems pretty confident that this is all it's going to take and we dont have any other issues since we were pregnant once before. I am anxious to get this process started. I am expecially anxious about my CD12 ultrasound and bloodwork. What if it says I am not responding? What if this whole cycle is a waste? I am trying to be optimistic because I was producing eggs before, my hormones just werent surging enough to release them, but I am still scared. So we are starting fertility treatments. I will be taking fertility drugs. I cant believe this is happening. This needs to work. I start tomorrow.
I do have to say that today isnt a bad day. Yesterday was an extremely bad day but today is much better. I am hopeful and optimistic. I am a little annoyed that we have to deal with this and it is already inconvenient. We are supposed to go to the shore for new years weekend with my family and I have my CD12 appointment that friday. Depending on how that goes, we may need to have another appointment over the weekend or we may need to BD multiple times over the weekend if the RE decides to trigger. Either way, a weekend at the shore sleeping on an air mattress in the living room is probably out of the question but we wont know for sure until that day. Annoying. Worth it, but annoying.
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