1 week

My little baby is 1 week old today. On one hand it went so fast, on the other it seems like he has been here forever. So what has happened over the last week?

I'll start with my recovery. The first few days were really rough. I was in a lot of pain. It was hard to move and I couldnt find a comfortable position unless I was laying down. And then it seemed like one day it was better as long as I didnt try to do too much. Now it is really ok, some discomfort sometimes but a million times better. I had no idea what it looks like down there, I havent looked. I think my stitches are dissolvable but I dont know how long it takes for them to dissolve. I am just going to wait until my post-partum appointment to even worry about what is going on down there. Weight loss? When I got home from the hospital I was only down 2 lbs but as of today I am down 12. That leaves 12 more to go to get to my prepregnancy weight but I would like to lose an additional 10-20 to get back to where I was before all of this ttc stuff started.

Now for the fun stuff... the baby!! First, he is absolutely adorable. He makes the cutest faces and already has little habits and a personality. He smells absolutely delicious! I just cant get enough of him. He has been breastfeeding like a champ. He really seemed to pick it up almost instantly. I though we were going to have problems but we're lucky so far. He is doing really well at night too. Some nights are worse than others but last night he ate at 11, 3 and 7. He goes right back to sleep after eating so there is no walking around the house in the middle of the night trying to settle a cranky baby. On the hard nights he is a little fussy or maybe doesnt go down right away but we really only had one night where one of us was awake the entire night and that was because he was in pain - gas or reflux, I'm not sure.

So I'm wondering, is there some kind of honeymoon period? Is this going to suddenly get harder one day? He is just such a good baby that I figure it must be too good to be true. Also, what about the post-partum hormones? I have really been feeling great. There has been 2 nights that I cried for no reason but besides that I am feeling good.

How Hayden Arrived

On Monday, 11/10, I woke up at 4am to call the hospital to see if they had a bed available for me for my 6am induction. They did not and told me to call back at 8am, I was really discouraged but was able to get a few more hours of sleep. At 8 they told me to come in immediately. We got there around 8:30 after rushing around trying to make sure we had everything. I was fully expecting them to say come in at 10 or call back later so we were kind of taken by surprise. By 9am we were in our room and my IV was started. Dr. B came in to check me and I was 6cm. My moms best friend, Aunt Marie, is a L&D nurse and I was so lucky that she came in on her day off to be my nurse, she got there around 10. She had made lots of plans to make my experience the best it could be and we are so grateful. Since it was expected that my labor would progress quickly, we decided to get the epidural before starting pitocin or breaking my water. I was a little anxious about the epidural because I typically dont do well with anesthesia - I was right. It was uncomfortable but not painful but when he started injecting the meds my bp dropped significantly and I was feeling dizzy and sick. They only gave me a small dose to give my bp a chance to go back up and once it did I received a little more but still not a complete dose. Immediately pitocin was started and Dr. B broke my water, it was now around 11am. The anesthesiologist stopped back a few minutes later and we determined that I was only numb from my hips down and was feeling the contractions so he gave me the complete dose and we were on our way! At 12:15 Aunt Marie checked me and said she couldnt find my cervix! It was confirmed by Dr. B that I was 10cm and 100% effaced but he was still pretty high. Rather than push for hours they decided to have me labor down for a little while to see if my contractions would bring him down. Luckily I couldnt feel anything so waiting a while rather than pushing forever seemed like a great idea. After an hour I still hadnt made much progress and Dr. B had to do a c-section for another patient so we decided to wait another hour. By 2:30 he had come down a little bit so we decided to start pushing. It was just me, B, Aunt Marie and a nursing student in the room - with lots of people in the waiting room! For the first few contractions I had no urge to push and couldnt feel anything so I wasnt pushing correctly. I knew I wasnt doing it right but couldnt change it, it was really frustrating. Eventually I either got more feeling or he moved down a little more and I was able to start pushing effectively. B was a great coach! He was holding my leg back and counting and rooting for me. In between contractions he was full of sweet things to say and very encouraging. After pushing for an hour I was getting kind of tired and frustrated. I couldnt see anything so I couldnt tell if I was making progress. Everyone was telling me that I was but I thought they were lying just to get me to keep going. Aunt Marie said that she thought he would be here by 4 and I didnt believe her at all. They all saw his hair while I was pushing and B said his hair was sticking out and Aunt Marie would twirl it because it was so long! All during that time the only pain I had was in my neck and shoulders from being curled forward and tense! Funny that as I'm pushing out a baby the thing that I'm complaining about is needing a shoulder rub. Soon things started to get pretty intense so I dont quite remember details but I know that Dr. B came in, saw me push a few times and started to get dressed. I could feel the pressure of the babys head coming down which really helped me continue to push. At some point he did an episiotomy but I didnt feel or notice it. I remember thinking it was so odd because I was the only one that didnt know what was going on. Everyone kept telling me how great I was doing and all that but I couldnt actually see how far he had come down. I dont think I would have wanted a mirror but I am so used to watching all of the baby shows on tv that it just seemed odd. It seemed like all of a sudden things changed, everyone got more excited and Dr. B said he thought it would be one more contraction. Aunt Marie grabbed my hand and had me touch his head and I immediately started crying. I think it was a combination of everything we had worked for for so long was so close plus relief that pushing was going to be over. With the next contraction I could feel his head come out and Dr. B suctioned his mouth. He had the cord wrapped around his neck but it was loose so Dr. B was able to just flip it over. One more push and out he came at 4:08 after an hour and a half of pushing. The feeling was unbelievable, the physical relief and amazement was overwhelming. They put him on my belly and I remember seeing his little arms and legs flop down, I couldnt believe it, I think that is something I will never forget. Brian and I were both crying. Aunt Marie was drying him off and rubbing his back to get him to cry. At some point it seemed like it had been too long and I started to worry but then there it was! Again, at this point I started to feel a little weird so I dont have very vivid memories. Dr. B was spending a lot of time working on me but I was too busy looking at the baby who was being warmed up and weighed and cleaned off. My mom and MIL came back to get a peek at him while I was being stitched up. Finally after about a half hour, when he was finished, I got the baby back. I really wanted to try to breastfeed during that first hour. Hayden was so alert and latched right on - he has been a champ ever since. Since we were kind of VIPs, the people that were waiting were able to come back and see us while I was recovering (my parents, sister and aunt, B's parents, brother, SIL and nephew). Around 6 we were getting ready to move to my post-partum room so I had to get up and pee to prove that I could be moved. The baby had been taken to the nursery at this point. As I got up my legs gave out from under me so B and my dad had to hold me and basically carry me to the bathroom. While I was there on the toilet I started to feel sick. We finished getting me off the toilet and into a wheel chair and I got sick a few times. Honestly, I didnt mind and almost kind of expected it as I had said before I have bad reactions to anesthesia. We eventually got over to my post-partum room which was the biggest and had been reserved for me.

I do have to say that I think I had the best labor and delivery ever. I never felt true labor pains, everything happened pretty quickly and even though pushing was hard and tiring I never felt any pain. I was talking and laughing between pushes. After everything else we had been though I felt like there would be problems with the delivery too but I really dont think I could have asked for a better experience. I dont even count the 5 minutes that I didnt feel well when getting the epidural and when I was sick afterwards as negative experiences, they were really nothing in the grand scheme of things. I was pretty out of it for the rest of the night probably as a result of my low bp and losing a lot of blood but felt much better the next day.

I will continue with what has happened since in another post, I have to feed the baby now or my boobs might explode!

Hayden Thomas

He is here! He was born on Monday, 11/10, at 4:08pm and was 7lbs8oz and 19.5 inches long. I am going to write up my birth story later but here are some pictures (sorry they arent in order). I think he is pretty darn cute!

38w1d

Well tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives... today is the last day of life as we know it. I cannot believe that I am going to be a mommy tomorrow. I cant imagine what it will be like to see his little face for the first time (and probably his huge cone head since he has been stuck in my pelvis for so long!). Touching him and holding him and smelling him... it is all going to happen. Everything that we have worked for over the last 2 years will finally be here. There was almost no part of this that was easy but I already know it was so worth it. I already know that I would do it all again. I cannot wait to meet our sweet little boy.

Update since my last post: Friday I went to lunch with my mom and then to my NST. It was probably the best one I've had. The first time she came to check on me he had already passed so we were finished a half hour after my appointment time. Sometimes we wait longer than that to be seen so it was nice. That night I went to my moms Grandmom shower which was fun. She was really surprised and got some gag gifts and some really nice things including a pack n play, bumbo, books, bibs, etc. Yesterday, we spent the day cleaning and getting things done around the house. We really worked hard all day so by the time evening came we didnt feel like going to the movies for our date night but we did go to PF Changs for dinner - delicious as always. I am so happy to have a clean house for the baby to come home to and for visitors as well. My house had really suffered while I was on bedrest and I never quite got back on track until yesterday. Today we are going grocery shopping and stocking up the freezer, finishing up a few things around the house and then relaxing for the rest of the day. My mom is having dinner for us tonight and hopefully we will get to bed early since we (I) have to be up at 4 to confirm the induction. Unfortunately, the eagles are playing at 8:15 tonight so we will probably miss some of the game if we are able to sleep - I have a feeling that we wont be getting much sleep though!

Today is going to be the longest day ever!

37w6d

So after all of that complaining I had a pretty good doctors appointment... I am having a baby on Monday!! I had my regular OB appt this morning with Dr. B. When he came in I asked about how long they wait after your due date to induce, he said a week. So we start the exam and I asked if I will be stuck at 4cm until I am in active labor, he said not necessarily and then said no, definitely not, you are 5 now. So I am considered advanced dilation now since I am not yet in active labor but more than 4cm. He is concerned that I could go into labor or my water could break and I would go really fast and possibly not make it to the hospital. They have been concerned about this for a while but I guess the more and more dilated I am the more serious it becomes. So why not induce me today? This is what my mom asked. I am not 38w yet so there would still be a very, very small chance that his lungs arent fully mature. That, however, is a moot point since I had the steroids. Either way, he would prefer to wait until I am 38w and a few days just to be responsible. So I could go into labor on my own this weekend but if not, I will be having a baby on Monday!

I really did try to think about this and make sure I wasnt making a decision based on physical discomfort that could possibly hurt the baby or me. I think I am making the right decision though, there really arent any additional risks that wouldnt be present if I went into labor on my own and I am actually mitigating a potential risk.

This afternoon I am going out to lunch with my mom and then to my NST. Tonight I am going to a grandma shower for my mom at my aunts house - it is more gag gifts like granny panties. Tomorrow I hope to go to the movies and out to eat with DH for one last date. I guess the rest of the weekend will be spent preparing! How do you prepare?? What do I still need to do? Eek!

37w4d

Attn everyone: Please stop asking me if I have had the baby yet... I will let you know!!! It's not like I am going to have him and not tell anyone.

Sigh... I am getting constant text messages from people asking if I am in labor or if I've had the baby. First of all, this is annoying when all I can think about is when I am going to have the baby. Second, it costs me money! My cell phone bill last month had $42 worth of text messaging!! I know everyone is curious and just wants to check in but I dont know if I can take a few more weeks of this. Will people just get bored and give up? As much as I am trying to get him to come out I really dont think that he is going to be here much before his due date. I think this would be so much easier if I didnt spend all that time on bedrest wondering when he was going to come. That just added to the end of pregnancy anxiety. Everyone says that the last month is so hard but what if the last month was actually twice as long? Twice as much time to be anxious, twice as much wondering, twice as many questions, twice everything.

I think I am going to plan a date night for me and B. We have a certificate for movie tickets and a gift card to PF Changs that we received for our anniversary. I figure we better take advantage of it soon before we arent able to!

PS Sorry to complain. I really do appreciate people caring and wondering, some days are just harder than others.

My Pumpkin!

Since he is probably about the size of a pumpkin now I figured these were appropriate! I am the size of a whale... why is it that I look so much bigger in pictures than I do in the mirror??

37w3d

Today is election day... finally. We can all breathe a huge sigh of relief today. Relief that all of the campaigning and negative ads are done with (living in a battleground state makes watching tv miserable) but also relief that I was finally able to cast my vote and hopefully help my candidate win. I dont want to get political on here so I'm not going to get into issues but I do want to say make sure you get out and vote today. It is so important. It doesnt matter who you vote for (although I would prefer if you voted for the candidate that I support!), your voice needs to be heard. Elections have come down to a few hundred votes, every vote does matter. Dont count on everyone else to do it for you.

So since I voted this morning, the baby is now allowed to come at any time. B and I decided that we need to stop thinking that he is going to come early (even though it isnt early anymore). There is a very good possibility that he will be late, even if I am already 4cm. Nothing is happening except I am getting more and more uncomfortable. My belly just aches. Plus, it seems that my stretch marks double every day. A few more weeks and my belly will be one big stretch mark! :) I love them because they symbolize my growing baby but I think I have enough now, I dont need anymore. I dont know if this baby could be any lower, he is on my lap. I cant even sit with my legs closed because he hangs between them! My little boy is going to have a serious cone head, an adorable one but definitely a big one!

I am off to continue my nesting. Yesterday was a very productive day and I expect today to be the same! Maybe a little later I will post some pictures of Halloween and the nursery since it is almost complete.

37w

So I'm full term... who would have thought I'd make it this far. Hopefully this means that I will have a perfectly healthy baby which would be a relief after all we've been worried about. Yesterday was an interesting day though. I woke up at 4:30 with strong, painful contractions. They were coming one right after the other and I remember thinking "So this is what they're talking about when they say you'll know when it's real labor." After a half hour I decided to get in the shower to see if that changed the pattern at all. The contractions were still frequent but not quite as strong and long. By about 6:30 they had spaced out to 5 minutes apart and werent really painful so I decided to get a little sleep and just talk to the doctor about it when I went in for my appt at 8:40. She was delivering a baby so I had to wait about an hour to be seen and all during that time I continued to have contractions which were uncomfortable and I felt like I needed to breathe through. She checked me and I was 4cm, 90% and 0 station - I found out that at my last appt I was on 50% effaced so I had made a little tiny bit of progress. She decided to send me to L&D to monitor my contractions and see if it was real labor. I called B and my mom and told them I was going up but didnt think I would be staying, it just didnt feel like the real thing anymore. My mom works close by so she came right over and I told B to wait at work until I was on the monitor for a little while and saw what was going on. By the time I got upstairs and registered he had decided that he was coming home (an hour drive). Literally, as soon as I was put on the monitor my contractions stopped. In the 2 hours I was there I had 2 contractions. We watched the parade for the Phillies and at 12:30 the in-house OB checked me and there was no change so they sent me home. I was so frustrated because I knew that I shouldnt have been there and I had just wasted everyones time. I dont want them to take time off for false alarms and have less time for when the baby gets here. So I've made 2 decisions - 1: I am not going back to L&D until my water breaks and 2: If I do go before then, I am not telling anyone (not even mom or B) until it is decided that I will be admitted. Plus, my mom and B called EVERYONE to tell them that I was going when I told them both that I didnt think I would be staying and then everyone called later to see what had happened. I felt bad enough that it was just the 2 of them, when I found out that everyone knew I felt like an idiot. So there was my third visit to L&D in 6 weeks... ugh!

I think I will go walking this morning to see if that helps at all. The bottom of my belly hurts when I walk but that isnt going to go away until I have this baby so better to push through it, right? The only problem now is that I need to have this baby today or early tomorrow or not until Tuesday after I vote. I told B that if I go into labor on Tuesday I will wait until the polls open and vote before going to the hospital. He says no but this election is really important to me and I would be really upset if I didnt get the chance to vote. I wish I had thought about getting an absentee ballot sooner. Oh well. Please make sure you vote on Tuesday!!

36w5d

So he wasnt a World Series baby but just to prove to him how close he was we took this picture. I am not a bandwagon jumper, baseball isnt really my thing so we didnt go running around the neighborhood celebrating like everyone else (my neighbors were shooting off fireworks). I am just so excited that the curse has been broken. Philadelphia hasnt won a championship since 1983, I was less than a year old. We were desperate for something, anything! We have the reputation of being a passionate sports town and even after all of the heartache and disappointment we still love our teams.

If you dont know, the curse is related to William Penn. There is a statue of him on top of City Hall, it had always been the highest point in the city and there was an agreement that no building could be built taller than him. 25 years ago, someone built a building taller than William Penn and we havent won a championship since. There have since been a number of buildings built taller than him but he is still the closest to the river and no one is in front of him. Then this year they completed construction on the tallest building in the city, the Comcast building. They put a small statue of William Penn on top of the building. I know, it sounds ridiculous but the year that William Penn became the highest point in the city again is the year that one of our teams wins a championship. Coincidence? Maybe... but it is fun to think that maybe it wasnt.

36w3d

Last night I decided that B should be rewarded for everything that he has done for me over the last month. Also, who knows when we will have sex again after the baby comes so we decided to give it a try. At 9 months pregnant, that is no easy task. Without going into too much detail, a huge belly definitely gets in the way. So afterwards I was in the bathroom and felt fluid leak out but it didnt feel like urine. I put on a pad and decided to see if there was more before calling the doctor. I had heard that you will continue to leak fluid after your water breaks and that is a good way to tell if it is your water or not. During that time I started to have more intense contractions that were coming every 3 1/2 minutes for about an hour. After an hour I did not have any fluid leaking and my contractions started to space out to 5 minutes apart so I stopped timing them and went to bed soon after. B was really concerned and thinks that I should have called just to get checked so this morning I called the doctor just to see what they said. They wanted me to come in to make sure that it was my water breaking. So when I was finally seen he checked things out said that my water hadn't broken (which is good because B would have been so mad at me if it had and I had just ignored it all night). Then he asked kind of cautiously if I had been dilated at all before and I told him I've been at 2 since 31 weeks and figured that is what he had noticed. He did an internal and said "Well, now you're at 4!" Holy cow! He also said that my bag of waters was bulging and must have said something funny because I laughed. He told me not to laugh or he was going to end up all wet. So he thinks the baby is coming soon but of course I could stay at 4 for a while just like I was at 2 for all that time. He said if I have another episode of contractions like I had last night that I should go in.

So maybe that old wive's tale about sex really is true, or maybe all of that shopping on Saturday had something to do with it. I went to lunch with my dad after my appointment and then to target to get my list of last minute things since the baby is getting ready to come. While I was at target I was having tons of contractions and was pretty uncomfortable so maybe labor is starting. We'll see!!!

35w6d

So every appointment ended up being not so great.

We left for our appointment with the pediatrician last night and our directions took us to some residential neighborhood without an office building in sight. I called the office multiple times but they already had their answering service one since their office was closed and we were just having a consultation. I left a message but there was nothing else I could do, there was no way for me to get in touch with them to find out how to get to their office. I called my sister and had her look up the directions again but hers took us to the same place. They called me back this morning and said that for some reason their address doesnt show up in mapquest and it sends people to a residential neighborhood in Holland so at least we werent the first idiots to do this. I said I didnt want to waste anymore of the doctors time so we will just ask any questions we have at our first appointment or when we see him in the hospital. We know we are going to go with that group based on my aunts recommendation (she is a pediatric nurse at the hospital that they are associated with).

So this morning we had a non-stress test at 8:30. I brought cookies to make sure that he would have plenty of sugar to stay active. As soon as they put the monitor on he started bouncing all around, so much so that they couldnt get a baseline on his heart rate. He eventually settled down, a little too much, so I ate my cookies and he was active enough to get one heart rate acceleration. And then that was it, he slept the rest of the time. No more accelerations for the rest of the hour. They were talking about doing an ultrasound - biophysical profile - but gave him an additional 15 minutes and during that time he had another acceleration so he passed. I am still concerned that it took him that long but they said it was fine and he looks great so I'll try not to worry.

By this time it was 10:30 and my OB appt was for 9:00. When I got there they took me right back (yay!). I gained 6 lbs but I had lost 2 last week so it kind of evens out. This puts me at 176 - eek!! So she did all the normal stuff - fundal height, heartbeat - and then checked me and I was the same - 2cm and high. That means all of these contractions are doing nothing. Also, she still wants me to take it easy. She said I can go out occasionally and start prenatal yoga again but I shouldnt be doing any extended amounts of walking. And then with a smile she said, "we are probably going to end up inducing you" because apparently that is a really funny prospect. It's funny to everyone except me, I think. Oh well, at least I can start doing things to get ready for this baby, even if he doesnt end up coming for another 4 or 5 weeks. No rush to get the car seats installed I guess!

I'm sleepy so I'm going to take a nap and then try to figure out how I'm going to keep myself busy for another 4-5 weeks.

35w5d

I am finished with Procardia! It has been 12 hours since my last dose! So far nothing has happened but I dont really expect it to. I'm convinced that he wont be here for a few more weeks. Anyway, now I am medication free! I told B that he really needs to get the car seats installed now since the baby could come at any time. I imagine he will be doing it while we are waiting in front of the hospital to go home. I think I am going to make him do it tomorrow.

Tonight we are meeting our pediatrician and tomorrow I have a NST and then OB appt where they will check for progress. I'll update if anything exciting happens at any of these appointments.

Have I mentioned my stretch marks yet? I didnt have any until just recently and now they are popping up all over the place. Last week I noticed some above my belly button and then a couple days ago noticed them below my belly button. I didnt notice these before because I cant see there anymore!! Today I saw a few on my sides. This is not fun. My mom didnt have any stretch marks and she gained 60 lbs. Doesnt that mean that I shouldnt have them either, especially since I've only gained about 20? By the way, I am still shocked that I havent gained more weight, it is in my genes to get huge when you're pregnant and I certainly havent been doing anything (diet, exercise) to prevent it. I guess that is the benefit of being sick for half of your pregnancy.

I am off to read book 4 of the Twilight series! I've read the other 3 in a day each but this one seems to be the longest so I might not finish it until tomorrow. I forgot how much I love reading!

35w3d

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Finally I have some shower pics to share!! including my huge belly at 34 weeks...

35w1d

So everyone complains that the last few weeks of pregnancy are torture because you are always questioning whether labor is starting. I have been like this since 32 weeks and it is getting old. This morning I had an hour of contractions that were 5 minutes apart and then I decided to stop timing them, get a shower (I wanted to smell pretty if I ended up in the hospital) and then relax for a little to see if they continue. I am still not timing them but I think they have slowed down now. I try not to get too worked up when this happens but it is definitely frustrating.

Yesterday we did a lot of work to the baby's room. We cleared out all of the boxes, got stuff put away in the closet and organized, and put together the swing and bouncer seat. Brian also returned all of our duplicates to BRU, they took everything back without a fight even though we didnt have receipts for everything. He used the credit to buy some remaining items off our registry so now there are only about 5 small things left and they arent things that we need right away. Today I am hoping to put together the pack n play (I still dont know where the heck I am going to put it, I dont see how it is going to fit in my living room without putting it in the middle of the floor. Maybe that 60-ish inch tv was a little too big.), the stroller and getting the car seat bases installed. Also, there is a little more baby laundry. A few more small things I'd like to do: I want to repack our hospital bags. As a result of all of our visits I've decided that I want to have multiple small bags instead of one or two big bags so I am going to pack a triage/labor bag, post-partum bag and a bag for B. I also need to pick out a coming home outfit for the baby. I really want to go out and look for something but it seems silly with all of the clothes we already have. There is just nothing that would work well with the knit sweater and hat that I was hoping to use, everything has little appliques of cars or animals or sayings on the front. Arent there baby clothes that are just plain without cartoon appliques?? I am on the search for a plain, light blue cotton footed sleeper - I cant even find one online! I would even do something that had stripes or was a different color, I just want it to be plain without any appliques or animal/car prints. Please let me know if you know where I can find one.

34w6d

I'm back! No, I didnt have the baby, I was just lazy. My shower was so great! We got just about everything from our registry, I cant believe it. Everyone was so generous and my mom did a great job. I will have to get my mom to send me pictures so I can post them.

Since then, we've washed all of the baby clothes (and there are a lot of them!) and put them away. We also washed the bedding and have that on the crib. I have a pile of returns since I got a lot of duplicates so we will be able to buy the rest of the things that we need. I am hoping to get everything else put together/put away/organized this weekend.

I had my NST this morning. Luckily the baby was in a very playful mood so he passed easily and we were out of there pretty quickly. No real changes, still having contractions although they seem to be worse at night and often wake me up. Once I get up in the morning they slow down. I'm guessing he will be here around Halloween, what is your guess?

33w6d

Tomorrow is a big day! 34 weeks and my shower!

Yesterday I had my OB appt. I lost 2 lbs which is awesome because I gained so much at my last appointment so losing a few pounds means it was probably fluid and not just ice cream. I dont know what my bp was but nothing for the doctor to be concerned about. We saw Dr. T and we both agreed that we really like her. She let B find the heartbeat with the doppler, I didnt realize that he had never done it before even though we have one. He was able to find it though! She said that I will come off bed rest and procardia at 36 weeks. My next appt is scheduled for 35w5d.

Also yesterday, my aunt brought over dinner for us and a huge container of apple crisp - mmmm! Her neighbor, who is a good friend of the family, called her yesterday asking how to get to my house, she had made dinner for us too! How lucky are we? So we had one dinner last night - tilapia stuffed with asparagus and spinach - and the other tonight - chicken, noodles and carrots with biscuits and gravy. Apple crisp both nights!

This morning was my second NST and he almost failed. It took the full hour and a bag of m&ms for him to get his 2 movements with accelerations in. I was getting a little worried, I dont know what happens if he fails. By the time we were finished with that I was exhausted, I am not used to that much activity, so we came home and I relaxed for a little and then went out for my mani/pedi. It was heaven. The woman was really great at massaging my legs and feet. Sometimes you get people who are kind of skimpy with that part but she was fabulous and I needed it! So now I am all ready for my shower tomorrow! I am still not checking my registry so it will be a surprise though I am so tempted. The weather is going to be perfect too!

33w4d

So Tuesday came and went and there was no trip to the hospital! Contractions are a little more frequent but still dont hurt. Yesterday was a rough day, I think I was just bored and bed rest is finally getting to me. Today I want to try to do more instead of sitting on the computer and watching tv but so far I havent.

Right now I would love me a chai latte and slice of pumpkin loaf from Starbucks. Unfortunately, no driving privileges. I wish they delivered. Anyone want to bring me some?? :) Maybe I will send my sister when she gets home from school, she has nothing better to do I'm sure.

I'll update you after my OB appt tomorrow and NST on Friday. Can't wait til Saturday!

33w2d

A picture of me doing my favorite thing, eating ice cream! This was taken around 30 weeks but my belly was definitely big enough to be an ice cream rest at that point! Everyone says that I was getting really swollen right before I ended up in the hospital - I noticed too - but it has gone down a lot probably because the procardia is for pregnancy induced hypertension in addition to pre-term labor. So there you have it, my swollen, piggy self!

Another week on the sofa is beginning. The nest isnt working this morning and MSN is being so slow so I've been trying to find other stuff to look at online without stalking my registry. I am really going to try not to look at it for the rest of the week but it is going to be hard. I cant wait for my shower though, it is going to be so much fun! And I will finally feel like we are semi-prepared for this baby to come.

Yesterday my contractions started changing. They had been pretty consistent (every 6-20 minutes) with a tightening feeling sometimes with a little pressure, making me feel like I have to pee - I imagine those are similar to braxton hicks contractions. Yesterday that kind of stopped, I still have tightening but I dont feel it very much. Instead I was having a lot of back pain and then pain down into my thighs. This is similar to how I was feeling in the days before I ended up in the hospital, especially the back pain. So I wonder if I am transitioning from uterine irritability to gearing up for labor. Only time will tell of course but when I went to bed last night I was sure I would wake up in labor. This morning I am not having the back pain but I am still not having the BH-like contractions. My mom said maybe this is the calm before the storm or maybe the procardia is finally working. Who knows? Hopefully I make it until at least Saturday after the shower!!

I dont know if I mentioned this before but B has some knit items that were made for him when he was a baby - 2 sweaters and 4 hats. I went through them yesterday and found that one of the sweaters and hats appears to be newborn size so I am going to have my mom wash them for me and hopefully we can incorporate them into his coming home outfit. I was thinking of just getting a blue sleeper to wear under it. Hopefully we can store them properly and they will become heirlooms. I will try to post pictures.

32w6d

Tomorrow is 33 weeks, I am so thrilled we are here and kind of surprised we made it this far. I had an NST this morning. They were planned before the PTL for my thyroid, I will have them weekly. Baby was sleepy in the beginning but after a few pieces of chocolate he behaved and everything looked good. I had some contractions while I was there too. I havent been paying attention to how often I have contractions because there is no need at this point unless they become more intense, during the NST they were every 6-10 minutes, no cause to get excited yet.

So I am now stuck in the house until Thursday when I have my next doctors appointment unless I decide to take another trip to the hospital. For the last 10 days the only 2 places I have been are home and the hospital. My only planned outings next week are to the doctors (which is in the medical building attached to the hospital) and another NST on Friday (which is in the hospital) So it looks like home and hospital will be the only places I go until my shower next Saturday which is at my moms. Cant a girl go to Target? What about in one of those motorized scooters??

32w4d

Spent the night in L&D again. I had been having contractions for about 24 hours but they were irregular and not too intense. They did say to call if I was having any contractions but I was pretty sure it was nothing. Anyway, my mom convinced me to call and they told me to go in to be monitored. I got in there and was having some contractions between 7 and 17 minutes apart. The house doc checked me and said I was 2cm and 60%. She also checked to make sure that my water didnt break (negative) and did another ffn (positive). They eventually started me on an IV (Brian was upset that it was a few hours after I got there before they hooked me up again as we knew it would be necessary since there really wasnt anything else they are going to do for me at this point). Unfortunately, as soon as the IV started my contractions were coming 3-5 minutes apart for a while so I wasnt going anywhere. They moved me to a quieter room for the night and increased my procardia to every 4 hours instead of 6. We tried to get some sleep without much success. Brian was sleeping in a horribly small and uncomfortable chair in a freezing cold room with a paper thin blanket. I was lucky enough to be in a decent bed with a pillow and enough blankets but was hooked up to all of the machines so it wasnt easy to sleep.

Aunt Marie came on at 7 and was my nurse for the rest of my time there. Also, Dr. T, the newest doc in my practice, was on so I got to meet her and she followed my progress starting at 7 also. I was still having contractions but not as frequent. Dr. T checked me and I was still 2cm (so I'm going with that from now on, I guess the first doc was a little aggressive). She wanted me to continue on the procardia every 4 hours and see how I do before I could leave. Around 9 I made Brian go home to get some sleep because I was expecting to be there into the afternoon. He was still planning on going to work at some point so he needed the sleep. After my 8am dose things slowed down to just irritability and a few contractions here and there. Finally, by 1 they decided to send me home... finally! I spoke with both Dr. T and Dr. B (he was there for a c-section and stopped in), they both said that I will probably continue to have irregular contractions so no need to call every time anymore (although they both said it was good that I went in last night and they wouldnt have kept me that long if I had called unnecessarily), they've done all they can do for me. Next time I call it should be for regular contractions that are at increased intensity - when I go into labor.

I'm glad to have clear instructions now. I'm glad I dont have to keep spending nights in triage to try to get contractions to stop. Obviously I want him to stay in there and cook a little longer and I will continue bed rest and the meds but if I have to spend one more night in L&D I might go crazy. When they told me to come in last night I almost cried. I wanted them to just say irregular contractions are fine, I knew these were fine. Ugh, oh well. Better to be safe than sorry, we dont know what it could have turned into. So I will continue on bed rest and take the procardia every 4 hours. I have a non-stress test on Friday and an appointment with Dr. T next Thursday. Hopefully I wont see her before then!!

Oh and everyone on L&D knows me now... I am like a celebrity up there!!

32w3d

Day 2 of being home alone on bed rest. It wasnt too bad actually. I woke up feeling pretty sick to my stomach so I decided to stay in bed for the morning. My friend Cat called from Chile, she is teaching english there for 6 months. We had a nice long chat about all kinds of things. Then my sister brought me lunch and picked up a book for me at Barnes and Noble. Do I really need another book to read? No, but this is highly recommended by moms of preemies so I thought I should pick it up and do a little reading to be prepared. The other books dont seem quite as important right now. My cousin came over and brought a basket of goodies including, lasagna, choc chip cookies, books, magazines, coloring books and puzzle books plus a picture that my godson drew for me! When she left I got on the phone with my friend Shannan and talked about what I need to get done before the baby gets here. She has 2 little girls that are about a year and a half apart so I trust her. Then I turned on the lullaby cd for the baby and started reading my new book. How relaxing!

Besides not feeling well off and on throughout the day it was pretty uneventful. I have had some contractions but nothing consistent. Last night I had about an hour of contractions that were 8 minutes apart but eventually slowed and stopped. I am now comfortable determining what is a contraction and what isnt as long as they are strong enough, and if they arent I probably shouldnt be counting them anyway.

It has been exactly a week since I was sent to L&D (almost to the minute) and I cant believe how much has happened since then. It is amazing how quickly things change.

32w2d

So who knew when I said that I was in the homestretch in my last post that I actually might have been. A lot has happened over the last week and we continue to wait and see what will happen next.

9/23
I had an OB appointment at 5:40. Brian doesnt usually come but was working from home that day so came with me. I complained of seeing spots for the last few days. That, along with an elevated bp and high weight gain caused Dr. B to send me up to L&D to be monitored and run a PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension) panel. Everything came back fine but surprisingly I was having contractions, I didnt feel them at all. They gave me some water with the hope that it would slow them down. At 8:30 I was checked and was 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. We werent very concerned at the time. The contractions grew stronger (still not feeling them) and around 11 I was checked again and was 3cm and 70% effaced. All of a sudden things became serious. My moms best friend is a nurse there so I asked if she was working, luckily she was and was my nurse for the night. We called our parents to tell them what was going on and were rushed back to get me started on an IV of magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions. At 12 I received the first of 2 steroid shots to help develop the baby's lungs. They attempted to insert a catheter twice without success which was not pleasant, I eventually asked them to give up and used a bedpan for the rest of my stay. My parents had arrived by that time and we kind of watched and waited and then tried to get some sleep.

9/24
Overnight the contractions were getting closer together so they decided to increase the Mag which eventually worked and the contractions slowed down. I had a comfortable rest of the night but only slept about 40 minutes. My new nurse, Donna, came on in the morning. Everything remained relatively the same and stable all day and afternoon. We were able to talk to the NICU and antenatal docs and they told us what to expect. I also had my second steroid shot and our short-term goal was to keep baby in for an additional 24 hours so it had time to fully work. We had an ultrasound and determined that baby is head down, weighed 4lbs 3oz and definitely still a boy. We also found out that he has a big head just like his dad! They were planning on stopping the mag the next day so B went to work to get some stuff done since we didnt know what the next day would bring.

9/25
We were finally able to get some sleep! They stopped the Mag at 8:15am but within a half hour contractions and uterine irritability picked up. At 9:30 I was started on Procardia orally and everything slowed down. There are barely any contractions and just some irritability. I will continue this every 6 hours. Dr. G came in to discuss what's happening and said that since the steroids have taken effect now, it will be ok if he comes early. At 2:30 Dr. B came in to check on me. I asked if he was surprised to see me here and he said he certainly wasnt expecting to see me for this reason. He said now that I had the steroid shots, if I started in hard labor they wouldnt stop it. He also said that the baby would receive the benefits of this shot for the remainder of the pregnancy, until his lungs are mature. He told me it is possible for me to last til my due date or I could go home and deliver the next day, there is no way to know. He planned to come back the next day and we'll decide whether to send me home as long as the procardia keeps working.

9/26
Aunt Marie was my nurse again last night. Nothing exciting happened. B went to work today to get some things done. Of course, Dr. B came in only a few hours later with great news - I'm being discharged! He did an FFN and checked me to make sure that I wasnt dilated anymore. I was finally able to get up and use the bathroom after about 60 hours in bed. Since I am being released on bed rest, my awesome nurse Carrie is having the lactation consultant talk to me because I would otherwise miss my breastfeeding class. Now I'm just waiting for someone to pick me up!

9/29
Since I've been home nothing exciting has happened. I've been trying to stay on the sofa as much as possible but it is hard. Last night I had a lot of back pain/cramping that lasted through this morning. I didnt call the doctor because I wasnt sure if it meant anything. I finally heard back from the OBs office and my FFN was positive which means there is a good chance that I will deliver in the next 2 weeks. The FFN is a more effective test when you get a negative result so we still dont really know what is going to happen. There isnt really anything to change as a result of this so we just wait.

30w5d

Wow, 30 weeks! We are in the home stretch now!

First of all, I passed my glucose tolerance test so no gestational diabetes for me! That means I can keep eating my ice cream. The receptionist messed up my next appointment so it isnt until Tuesday. I should be getting instructions for my non-stress tests. I am curious about whether I schedule them all at once or one week at a time.

Last night was our first childbirth class. I feel kind of silly being there for 2 reasons: 1-I feel like I dont belong, I cant possibly be pregnant enough to warrant these classes, can I? And yet most of the people are due a month after me! 2- Most of the people seem to have no idea what to expect so I am concerned that it's going to be really basic and I'm not going to get anything out of the classes. No big deal, it is a right of passage but I was hoping to learn some stuff. I also felt a little out of place because everyone was so young and unmarried. I am young at only 25 so these people must have been late teens/early 20's. I couldnt help but think that almost all of the pregnancies in that room were unplanned. Mom took a test after missing her period and maybe she cried or maybe she was scared to tell her boyfriend and family. You could tell this when we were going around the room and introducing ourselves. We were supposed to say something good and bad about your pregnancy. The first girl said "bad is back pain, not sleeping..." and went on and on. And the instructor said, "and good?" and her response was "I dont know, nothing really." Stab right to my heart. How could you not think that this pregnancy is amazing? Even after the horrible first few months I am still amazed at how he is growing and moving, it is really a miracle. We'll see how next week goes. I think we are seeing the birth video which was described as not as graphic as what you see on the baby shows. So what is it that we're seeing exactly?

My shower invites went out this week! Yay! And I am a registry stalker so I know that someone bought something this week already! I cant wait!

I am getting swollen in my feet and fingers. I guess this is causing my joints to ache. It is mostly my fingers but also my knees have been achy. I have always had knee issues so I am not surprised. My feet just feel stretched. Of course this week, when the weather is 70 and beautiful, I am stuck in a hot office with a window that doesnt open. I am so thankful that it is fall though. The cool air is so refreshing when I step outside in the morning. I might have to go for a walk tonight.

We are off to the shore this weekend for Irish weekend. We should probably stay home and work on the nursery but this might be the last weekend that we can get away. No bikini - it will be too cold!

28w4d

So I'm glad that I didnt attempt the bikini! At my doctors appointment the following week I found out that I gained 9lbs!! Oops! Nothing else exciting happened at that appointment except that I am now going every 2 weeks so I already had an appointment again yesterday. This one was a little more interesting. I had to do the glucose tolerance test so at my last appt they gave me the drink to take home so I could drink it before I came. I got there with a half hour left before I needed my blood drawn. After waiting about 10 minutes they called me back to do weight (only 2lbs!), bp and urine. By the time she was done I still had 15 minutes so she put me in a room to see the doctor. This made me nervous naturally because what are the chances of the doctor coming in and being done within 15 minutes, right? It just doesnt happen. But I figured I would let them worry about that. So Dr. B comes in and we do the normal routine. I had a couple questions for him (I will discuss one below) and we are just finishing up when the nurse comes rushing in saying that there is a 9 minute window and we are at 9 minutes exactly and we have to take my blood right that second or we will miss it. So Dr. B leaves and she starts to draw blood. I have this done all the time, I did it every other day for months when seeing Dr. F, I just had blood drawn on friday for my thyroid panel, I am so used to it so it was odd when I started seeing stars. Once she stopped it went away and I was fine so who knows what it was. Then she realized that in her haste she forgot a cotton swab to put under the bandaid. "No big deal," I say, "I'm not a bleeder." Famous last words. So we leave the room and I go to the desk to make my next appointment. I happen to look down at my arm and it is covered in blood! Luckily the nurses station is right behind the desk so she was able to clean it up and properly bandage it so there were no more problems. As far as OB appts go, this one was more interesting than the rest!

Saturday night through Monday morning I had a bad pain in my side. It would flare up and be pretty bad but other times not too bad. It was bad enough to wake me up during the night both nights but then Monday morning after sitting on the sofa for a little while it seemed to just go away. Since I wasnt bleeding, vomiting or contracting, I didnt call the doctor. I did mention it to him at my appointment though. He felt around and hit the spot ::ouch! no wonder i was seeing stars:: and then felt the baby ::ouch again! he practically lifted my uterus out of my belly::. He determined that the baby is transverse and the pain is most likely severe round ligament pain due to the babys size and position. If he were a good boy he would be head down and then my uterus would be stretching up and down instead of side to side. At this point, being transverse isn't a huge deal, just something to watch. I am going to try some techniques suggested to me to get him to turn (spinningbabies.com). If he doesnt turn by 32-34 weeks I will probably go to a chiropractor and/or acupuncture to see if either of those can help. If he still doesnt turn I am against an external version so I would be having a c-section. A lot can happen between now and then though. Since he is still small enough to move around in there I will do my best to get him to turn sooner rather than later. Come on banana! Be a good boy for mommy! I also heard that putting a frozen bag of veggies by his head should encourage him to turn but I'm not sure which side his head is on. I will ask at my next appointment if I havent had success yet.

In other baby news, his room is painted! Well the walls are painted, daddy just needs to do the trim and ceiling. We are doing a million little odds and ends projects around the house and since we still have plenty of time before the baby comes, we arent really in a rush to finish his room. I would like it finished and the furniture in by my shower (oct 11) so we have somewhere to put everything. I also repainted the rocking chair that B's mom gave to us. She had used it when he was a baby. I am having a wonderful nestie make new cushions for it. I finally bought fabric and sent everything off to her yesterday. I can't wait to see how fabulous it is when it's done!

A mom on the nest just had her twins yesterday. She was less than a week further ahead than me. It is amazing to see those babies and to think that's what my little man looks like. He is that big! He is becoming more and more real every day and I can't wait until he gets here!

26w2d

Just wanted to include my newest belly pic. Yup, I'm huge.

25w6d

99 days to go until my due date!!!

I really didnt think I'd ever get here, it seemed so far away. Now we have just a little over 3 months left! I will start the third trimester next week, that's right, the third! Banana has gotten much bigger and is squishing everything else that's supposed to be in my abdominal cavity. I get out of breath easily and heartburn/indigestion are starting but I cant even be upset about it because it just means that he is growing. I love feeling him move, I watch my belly constantly when I am on the sofa at night. I am also nesting. I have been cooking and cleaning and have become rather domestic in the last few weeks.

I'm sorry to say that there isnt much exciting news to report. He just keeps growing (he is about the size of an eggplant now) and my belly keeps growing and that's about it. My belly button is kind of flat and kind of sticking out now, I give it a few more weeks until it is out completely. That's the most exciting news I have... sorry!

We are going to the shore this weekend and I am considering a bikini. When will I ever be able to wear a bikini while pregnant again? I havent gained any weight except for in my belly and boobs and actually I have lost weight in other places, I dont have any stretch marks yet and my boobs arent saggy from breastfeeding like they would be in subsequent pregnancies. This is probably the best I will ever look while pregnant. I doubt I'll have enough guts to do it but it would be fun!

Have a great weekend!!

23w5d

Hi! Not too much to update but I wanted to share a belly picture from my vacation a few weeks ago so you can see how I've grown!!

We went to register on Tuesday night, it was quite an experience. I thought I knew what I wanted and was pretty knowledgeable on all things baby but I was wrong. After a day of editing, I am pretty happy with my registry now. Yay! I am also going to try to set up a universal registry where I can link to different stores online for items that arent available at babiesrus. I only have like 7 items but I would really like to put them on a registry somewhere as some are kind of big. Any suggestions for a website to use? I have heard that Amazon does it but wanted to see if there was something else where I could link to whatever I wanted.

We are still on a hunt for a glider. We are having a comfort/cost issue. I am choosing based on comfort, B is choosing based on cost. Not really sure how that is going to end up. To be continued I guess.

No appointments or anything recently but yesterday I signed up for our classes at the hospital! We are taking Prepared Childbirth, Breastfeeding and Infant CPR. I really want to do the CPR class, I think it is important. B thinks that someone in our family of nurses can just show us how to do it but I dont think it is the same effect. So I am taking it and he is not. Those classes are in September and October. Couple that the weekly NSTs, bi-weekly and then weekly OB visits and I will be at that hospital pretty often from Sept - Nov. I wonder if they have a frequent parking program :)

22w5d

Wow! Where have I been? Last week I was on vacation. We went up to the Boston area for the week and it was a lot of fun. I was worried I would be uncomfortable with all of the walking but it wasnt too bad, it was a little hot though. So what's happened since my last post? He is still a boy, that was confirmed 2 weeks ago during my follow up ultrasound. Everything checked out ok during the ultrasound so I dont need to have anymore at this point. He was 15 ounces at 21 weeks! Big baby! I also found out that because of my thyroid issues I am going to be having non-stress tests weekly starting at 32 weeks. I dont really know why, it was surprised to hear it at my appointment this week so I will ask more questions at my next appointment. By that point I wont be working much longer so it wont be too bad. Between those appointments and my OB appointments I am going to live at the hospital/medical center for the last 8 weeks. It will be like all of the RE appointments all over again.

I still havent registered and I still havent picked out a stroller. I am planning on ordering the furniture tomorrow and will hopefully decide on bedding soon!

My belly is getting big and he is moving a lot, I love it!

That's about it I think.

19w6d

I cannot believe it, I will be 20 weeks tomorrow. I never thought I would reach this point. I remember when I first moved to SAIF and saw people at 20 weeks I thought it would be forever until I got there. I am so grateful to be here, so incredibly grateful, and my little man always reminds me of how lucky I am. Actually, he is giving me little kicks while I am typing this, it is just amazing and unbelievable. So along with all of this amazement comes confusion because now I am have navigate baby world. Parenting? That will be easy but try choosing a stroller! We went to babies r us yesterday and before we went I was pretty sure about what I wanted, when we left I was so confused. I think we have it narrowed down to the peg perego pliko p3 and the chicco courtina. If I could find a stroller that had the best of both I would get it in a second but here are my pro's and con's... you tell me what you think.

Peg Perego Pliko P3
- Super comfy and sturdy seat
- Big sun shade (could practically cover the whole stroller)
- Umbrella stroller - folds up pretty compactly
- Not a one hand fold - kind of complicated actually and opening is the same way
- Can attach car seat
- Decent size basket
- Kind of hard to get to basket because of folding mechanism
- Snack bar but does not lift up
- Seat fully reclines
- Adjustable handles
- 2 handles instead of a bar - can't push with one hand
- one crappy cup holder

Chicco Courtina
- Seat/fabric not quite as comfy
- Very small sun shade - would need to buy something else
- Bigger when folded
- Easy one hand fold and open
- Can attach car seat
- Decent size basket
- Easy to get to basket
- Snack bar that can be lifted to easily get bigger baby in and out
- Seat fully reclines
- Adjustable handle
- One handle bar - can push with 1 hand
- Decent cup holder and other compartment for keys, etc.

These are the things that we took note of. Is there anything that I missed that is important? Which items are most important? Which would you choose? Ignore price... Oh and both have car seats that fit up to 30 lbs.

18w3d

It's a boy!!!! We are going to have a son! I can't believe it, it is so surreal to know that we are going to have a little boy in our house. Everything went well at the ultrasound. He is measuring right on track and weighs 9 ounces. They werent able to get some of the measurements because the baby wouldnt cooperate (I dont think the tech tried hard enough) so we go back in 4 weeks but everything that was measured was normal. He is cute as a button! If I could figure out how to scan these u/s pictures I would post them but I dont have one of those scanners, I will try to take pictures of them and post those.

Now we have to decide on a name...

16w6d

Big news!! I just felt the baby move!!! I have been waiting for this for weeks, I cant believe it actually happened!

Ok back to our regularly scheduled programming... where have I been? I was on vacation for a week and I have been at clients without internet access so I havent had time to update. Add onto that the days we were without power this week (yes days...) and it has been a while.

Pregnancy news - I have been feeling better. I got sick a few times last week but nothing this week so I am hoping that I'm finished with that finally. I dont feel like I'm getting bigger but I definitely am as you can see in the picture (taken around 15w4d). I still havent really gained any weight which is amazing to me. How can I be this big without gaining weight? People are starting to notice that I'm pregnant. No strangers yet but neighbors and clients have asked. Also, we are starting to look at cribs and bedding. I think I have it narrowed down to 2 of each and I just need to make a choice now. I will share both once we decide. I cant believe I am picking out a crib!! I think that's it, there isnt really much to update. I will (hopefully) have big news in a week and a half - stay tuned!

13w5d

And now, the announcement you have all been waiting for... the kitchen is DONE! Finally!

I did some rearranging of things on the counter and I need to get new dishtowels, curtains, a rug, etc. but I love it! Worth 7 weeks of aggravation? I guess so.

In baby news... I cant believe I am here. I am in the second trimester. It is really amazing and constantly surprises me. Funny that I thought I would want to yell it out to everyone but now that I am here I still feel like it is a secret and I need to be careful. I had an OB appointment last night and everything looks good. Dr. B must be concerned with my weight because he was asking about how sick I am and whether I am eating any solids. I certainly am but I wasnt for a while. My net loss at this point is 7 lbs, I am up 2 lbs from my lowest weight. I am not gaining weight as quickly as I thought I would but I am ok with that! Also, the first portion of my sequential screening (basically an NT scan) came back negative which means I just need bloodwork to confirm when I go for my big u/s. Yay! The interesting thing is that I had said as long as I see a heartbeat, I will be fine and I really have been, I havent been anxious about these results at all because I know that there is a little baby in there squirming away. How lucky am I? I am can really feel my uterus now but I am surprised that I cant feel the baby with as big as it is. I know most people dont feel it for a few more weeks but you would think if you had something as big as a lemon moving around in your belly you would feel it, right? Hopefully soon.

12w6d

The NT scan was fabulous! I really enjoyed watching the baby squirm around in there. B wasnt able to be there since he was out of town but my mom came with me and she loved it. I dont know when I will hear the results, maybe at my doctors appointment next week. Here are 2 pictures of pictures. I know they are horrible quality but I dont have a scanner at home.

The first one is an arm and hand which is kind of hard to see here. The second is a full body shot.

12w3d

Rapidly approaching the second trimester now and I can't believe it! Tomorrow is my NT scan and while I am a little nervous, I feel so much better since I know that there is a heartbeat (I will check again tonight just for extra comfort!). Anything that results from this test I will be able to deal with as long as there is a heartbeat. I have no idea where my script for this test is so I will have to search for that tonight. My house is a mess from the renovation so it could be anywhere... oops! I am still getting sick every day but I feel better overall now that I am off of the meds. I thought I would never be normal again! At this point, I am feeling really lucky and trying to enjoy it. I still havent taken a belly pic but I plan to do that soon, actually I have planned to do that for a while and it just never happens. I will get around to it so you can see how big my belly is already.

Nothing else is really happening. The kitchen still isnt done, who knows when he is coming back to finish. Hopefully when I get home today I will be surprised. We did put just about everything back in there so we are functioning as normally as possible right now. It is so nice to be almost back to normal and have a dishwasher and sink and a real dishes.

Anyone know anything about cloth diapers? I really want to do this but it is so overwhelming and I just dont know where to start. How will I know what works best until I try it, right? I need to find a class or something.

11w4d

Not much has happened in the last week or so. We are still waiting for the kitchen to be finished. The counters were installed but it turns out the contractor didnt order the tile for the back splash until today. Why not? I have no freaking clue! He has had what we wanted for weeks now, we rushed out to pick it out so we could get it to him. Just another example of what a great contractor he is. Since everything else is finished, we are going to start moving our stuff back in because it has been in our living room and dining room for way too long.

Baby stuff - I rented a doppler and it came on Monday. I got to hear the tiny little heart beat and it was fabulous! I am so glad that we've passed that milestone. I am going to be 12 weeks on Saturday which is huge, I cant believe we made it! Now if I could just stop throwing up. Hopefully that will end soon, I stopped my meds hoping that will help but who knows. I need to start gaining weight soon though! This losing weight has got to stop.

PS My friend had her baby girl today! Welcome to the world Peyten! I also found out another friend had her baby boy recently. Lots of babies!

10w2d

So much has happened in the last 2 weeks. I had another spotting episode. I called my OB since I had graduated from the RE and they said to call the RE since they dont have ultrasound equipment (something I dont like about that office). So I went into the REs office and saw the little gummy bear with a nice healthy heartbeat. It was swimming around, I couldnt believe it! We could even see fingers, amazing. So we are pretty confident that the baby is healthy and happy in there.

We decided to share the news with my moms family last week (those that didnt already know which it turned out to be only 2 people!) and my dads family this week at a communion party. Everybody was so excited, it was a lot of fun.

Oh and in other pregnancy related news, I am wearing maternity pants for the first time today. I am sick of my bella band, it sucks. It is a knockoff from motherhood which is probably why it is horrible but I just cant stand it anymore. It keeps rolling up and exposing my unbuttoned pants. So my cousins wife gave me a bag of clothes this weekend but no work pants so I went out and got 2 pairs yesterday. They are so much more comfortable and I can let my belly hang out all I want. My mom was with me when I was shopping and she was shocked at how big my belly is. It is definitely bigger than average but I have lost 7 lbs and not gained any of it back so it's not because I am eating too much. Must just be bloat. Plus, I never claimed to have a flat stomach before all of this started so that is definitely contributing too.

In kitchen news - yes we are still working on the kitchen - the counters should be here on the 1st and everything should be finished the next day. I am thrilled! I can't wait to get my house back. It took much longer than we originally thought because of the counters but I really wanted them so it's worth it.

Also, we booked a vacation to Sanibel Island, Florida for June! Hooray! It will be our babymoon. I can't wait to get away for a little while. Hopefully I am not sick anymore!

8w1d

So a few things to report. I spent Wednesday night at the ER because I hadnt been able to keep anything down for a while. I was worried about the baby so I just got filled up with some fluids. The offered to admit me but I wasnt really interested in staying so we came home a few hours later. If it happens again, one my aunts will just give me the IV at home, they already brought home the supplies, it will be a much nicer experience. Not that the ER was that terrible but it was uncomfortable and not home.

In other news, I had another appointment on Friday and I GRADUATED! It was so unexpected but I am really excited. Sad to be leaving the amazing doctors and office but glad to be moving on in the pregnancy. My mom went with me and got to see the baby and heartbeat, it was very exciting. The baby looks like a gummy bear now and has a nice quick heart beat of 160. It was really amazing. I am kind of sad that I wont be having an ultrasound for a while, I will ask for the NT scan so I can have another one in a few weeks. I have my first OB appointment in a week and a half.

Kitchen update: They started the kitchen Thursday and completed the demo and even put up some of the wall cabinets. Tomorrow they should do the floor and then I imagine it wont be too long after that. We still need to get the dishwasher, microwave, tile, sink and faucet. Ok that's a lot, we need to get moving. It will be our fault when this takes forever to finish.

7w4d

Not much to report. I am still sick. They gave me a new prescription but it hasnt been helping much. I can really only eat popsicles and water ice. I cant even eat soup anymore. I am so freaking hungry and I am starting to feel sick from being so hungry in addition to the all the time sickness, it is super fun. 5 more weeks? I was home yesterday and today which made it a little easier to deal with but tomorrow I am back to work. There are deadlines and deadlines dont care if I am sick. Not much is changing with my body. I am actually down 7 lbs. but I feel like maybe my uterus is getting bigger. It is very possible that I am imagining it though. Also, I have pretty much constant lower back pain. I need to start doing some yoga to gain some strength down there and stretch it out.

In other news, they are starting on our kitchen tomorrow and we havent even started to get ready. We are awesome planners. I didnt want to clean everything out if we didnt know when they were going to start so I have been putting it off. Of course, I cant help because 1 - I'm sick and 2 - after the spotting, Dr. F told me to take it easy and I think climbing up on cabinets would not be taking it easy, so Brian has to do it all himself tonight. Awesome fun. I hope we have enough boxes!

Finally, I just wanted to mention that yesterday I was 7w3d and that is when I found out about the missed miscarriage with the last pregnancy. Since I have seen the heartbeat twice and everything looks good (and I am so sick) I am actually feeling like I passed a huge milestone and everything is going to be fine from here on out. I am really pregnant and we are really going to have a baby in November!

6w5d

Phew! Everything is fine! There is a whole long story but I dont have time to write about it right now. The good news is that we saw the heartbeat and the baby is measuring a day ahead. Dr. F couldnt find a source of bleeding so he said just to take it easy, it could just be old blood. I am still very nervous but hearing the baby's heartbeat this morning was amazing! We have a 9mm little baby in there! I can't believe it. First scare down, many more to go I'm sure. This is not going to be an easy pregnancy but it will be worth it!

6w4d

In this post I was going to complain about how sick I've been and how exausted I am but I am spotting and that seems like silliness now. I know I shouldnt complain and I should be grateful but do I really need to go through this to learn that lesson. This cant be happening again, it has to be nothing. Dr. F is having me come in tomorrow instead of Friday. He said everything has been going really well and that it is probably nothing, I think it's over though. I dont know what I will do if this is the end. I cant imagine starting over. Will I have to wait another year before we get a chance again?

5w6d

I cant believe it, we saw the heartbeat today. It was amazing. I really didnt think we were going to see it. At first I didnt see anything and for a second I thought, this is it, it's over. But then he moved the wand over a little and there it was! The fetal pole was measuring perfectly too. Dr. F said next week we should be able to hear it, it was too early this time since it had most likely just started beating. I cant believe it is there and this is actually happening! The u/s picture isnt great so I wont scan it in, something is off with the contrast but I will never forget what that little pulsing bulge looked like! I am in heaven! And to make the day even better, I got a prescription for Zofran to help with the nausea! Woo hoo!

5w4d

Ok, this is getting out of control. 4 times by lunch is too many. I cant even stay in a freaking meeting without having to run out to the bathroom. I love this baby and if this was a guarantee that everything was fine, I think I would be able to handle it a little better but it's not. I can be this sick and still not end up with a baby and I think that is what is making this hard. I am not going to go through all of this for nothing. I still think the sea-bands are helping, I think it would be a lot worse without them. I am not as dizzy as I had been, just nauseated. I need Friday to get here quick!

5w3d

So our cute little poppy is not making this easy for me. I have gone from occasional nausea to constant with dry heaving. I had to go out and get seabands today to help and they did for a while but I took them off because they were uncomfortable and the nausea came back. Luckily, I am home waiting for our new cabinets to be delivered (they were supposed to be here at noon, I am getting concerned that they arent coming) so I can just lounge in comfy clothes but I am trying to get work done and it isnt going very well. I honestly dont know how I am going to work for the next 7 weeks (as I pray that this only lasts for the 1st trimester). As much as I am complaining, I didnt experience this last time so I am taking it as a good sign, hopefully increasing nausea means increasing hcg. I think I'm going to try to finish up a few work things and then take a little nap.

Our little Poppy!

4w6d

So we had the much anticipated ultrasound this morning and I thought I was going to puke all morning, I was so stressed and nervous. There is one little sac in there and it is in the right place which is what I have been praying for. I was thrilled for about a half a second and then the worry came back. Another week until we try to see a heartbeat. He gave us a picture and it is on the fridge now. B said he is happy to see a picture of our baby on the fridge instead of everyone else's. I am happy that he is happy. 4 weeks down, 36 to go.

4w5d

Ultrasound tomorrow morning! I am so nervous!! I really hope that everything is ok but I have a hard time imagining that it will be. We're 0 for 1 at these kinds of ultrasounds. My beta doubled and that is a great sign plus it is super high, no late bloomer here. I cant believe tomorrow is Friday already, I never thought it was going to get here.

4w4d

Update: I recovered from my panic-induced state and am feeling very optimistic again. There have been a few things that led to this new found calm. First, my boobs keep growing, they are ginormous now and they hurt!! Second, I am sick. No puking yet but I dont feel right at all and am constantly eating to try to quell it. Third, I have no reason to think that there is anything wrong. My ultrasound is only 2 days away, I can make it. What I may not be able to do is take my prenatal vitamins anymore. I gag and one of these times they might not stay down. Darn floating fishy vitamins. Eww, just thinking about them makes me want to gag. Also, I made a mental note last night that eating past full is not a good idea, I almost lost that too and then I was sick for the rest of the night so I slept. I have found that I am incredibly thirsty recently, especially in the morning. I usually eat dry cereal on the way to work and over the past couple of days I could have killed for something to drink. At least that keeps me drinking water which I was not good at before. I am so excited about this pregnancy, I cant wait to see those little poppy seeds on the ultrasound screen. Ooo, I keep making reference to there being more than one, I wonder why. There is most likely only one on there. I just want to see one little poppy seed in the perfect spot.

4w2d

So today I am scared. I have worked myself into a frenzy and am convinced that this is an ectopic pregnancy because I have read that high beta levels can indicate that. How high is high? I dont know so I asked TTTC and SAIF. Women who have experienced ectopics have reassured me that my doubling betas indicate that everything is fine, even if they are on the higher side of normal. So maybe I can calm down for about an hour. I was also worried because my boobs dont hurt as much as they did but that was cancelled out by the nausea that I felt when it had been 2 hours since eating last - note to self: have lots of snacks at the ready. I bought some jolly ranchers to try to deal with the nausea for the rest of the day so we'll see how they work. I heard that lemon is supposed to help but they dont make bags of just lemon jolly ranchers so hopefully all flavors will do the trick. Crap, I just looked at the bag and there arent any lemon at all! I am going to have to do some serious candy shopping, any suggestions on where to find the best variety? Maybe I will try the bulk candy place at the mall.

I am out at a new client today and there is a girl that works here and is probably 7-8 months pregnant - she is big but not quite bursting yet. It still stung a little bit to see her. Maybe because I'm not sure how this pregnancy is going to go yet. Maybe because I feel like I havent succeeded yet. I'm not really sure but I hope I get over that soon. I cant wait for the day when I can compare pregnancies with someone.

Until then... T-4 days until the ultrasound.

PS We (I) have decided to get a doppler once the heartbeat can be heard. I know people dont like it because it can cause panic but I panic every day anyway so it can't hurt, right?